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Posts Tagged ‘Z Train’

Friend:

I’m not completely positive we’re arguing about the same thing here, but I will fight back nevertheless.

I am well aware of the fact that Jordan Catalano had his faults. He totally dissed Angela when she sought him out at the Buffalo Tom show, although in his defense, I would have too (remember how she just showed up even though he clearly didn’t want her there? Talk about eager), he spelled her name with two L’s, “Angella,” and slept with Rayanne. Okay, the sleeping with Rayanne was pretty bad, but it’s not like he and Angela were still together. Kids will be kids, right?

However, unlike real-life Jared Leto, Jordan had some redeeming qualities. First of all, he eventually came around and realized he shouldn’t be embarrassed for liking Angela, that’s quite a big step if you ask me. Seeing as how his embarrassment was completely warranted. Secondly, he taught Angela to drive using his beloved Red. That takes courage. And thirdly, he hugged a distraught Angela under the bleachers after Sharon Cherski called her a bitch. Or something along the same lines as bitch. It was a tender moment.

These are just some of the reasons why we love Jordan. We, the people, knew that deep inside he was a decent human being. And decent was a-ok, since no one that dreamy could possibly be all good.

I’d also like to point out the fact that Angela was by no means an admirable character. She hated her mother, ditched Sharon for a cooler friend, only spoke to Brian when she needed him, and didn’t sleep with Jordan even though he took the time to find an empty warehouse with three bedrooms. Rejection is painful, no matter how beautiful you are. So who’s to say she didn’t deserve the way Jordan treated her. What goes around comes around.

And in terms of Jared Leto’s anti-Jay Leno statement, I’m still holding onto my “he’s lame for saying that” argument. I, like you, hate Jay Leno. But if I were an actor who was comfortably settled into mainstream Hollywood, I don’t think appearing on a late night program would/should be below my standards. I also believe it was not just Jay Leno’s show he was opposed to, but talk shows in general. It’s just like those people who refuse to own a television or listen to mainstream music because they refuse to “conform,” but will spend hours putting together outfits and making sure their hair looks perfectly messy. You know, the type of people we hate. At least if Jordan said something like, “Going on Jay Leno is my biggest fear,” it would’ve made sense. Since he was a total social outcast. A hot outcast, but an outcast nonetheless. Oh, but also, since making that statement Leto has appeared on multiple late-night talk programs. Truly lame.

The End.

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Reck: I’m writing a Jared Leto dissenting opinion right now.
Johnb: Excellent. Though, I don’t know how.
Reck: It’s too easy.
Johnb: How is that going to be easy? My arguments are rock solid.
Reck: Ha. You wish. I will take them apart like so many lincoln logs.
Johnb: Let the debate begin.

 

I hate to break this to you, Johnb, but Jordan Catalano is actually a huge jerk. Cute as an illiterate button, but a jerk. You say you were let down that Jared Leto was not exactly the same as Jordan Catalano, but he is, so you can start addressing that 12-year-old pain and move on.

You, like Angela, spent your time with him trying to imbue humanity into that sex-bomb lifeless shell of a boy. His incredibly beautiful eyes – like two puppies sleeping under his gently furrowed brow – lulled you into some kind of complacency that is completely against your normal nature. You hate everyone, Johnb. Remember? So while I’m not saying it’s possible for you to like either Jared or Jordan, I must insist that they are equally worthy of your ire, not one more than the next.

Let me draw your attention to several key points.

1. If you want to talk about the MSCL culture of teenage jerkhood, you’re going to want to compare the Jordan and Rayanne characters. They were both guilty of being pretty bad friends to Angela. They got her into trouble, used her and her stable home life, were flakey and inconsiderate, etc. HOWEVER, Rayanne has what I like to call a potential for humanity. She had her tragic flaws – addiction, weird hair – but she loved Angela and would have done anything for her. Jordan just wanted to take away her precious virginity. And that’s her flower, Johnb. Don’t you understand?

2. Jordan loved his car more than any human. This fact was made devastatingly clear during the episode when Angela thought the song “Red” was about her. Because she had brand new red hair. But he was actually talking about his car. Which was red. Because colors are stronger than feelings for him.

3. He had an imaginary friend, Tino.

Also, as it turns out, I take issue with your assertion that not wanting to be on The Jay Leno Show is pompous. I don’t want to be on Jay Leno and I hold a very low opinion of my self worth. You wouldn’t get that by how I ramble on about ridiculous things and expect other people to hang on my every word. But it’s true.

In conclusion, as much of a freaky jerk as Jared may be, he is exactly the same as that little (hot) pissant Jordan Catalano. So 12-year-old you needs to put a little thought into why she is so upset. I’m going to say it has something to do with being in Catholic school.

However, to be fair, don’t you just love the way he leans?

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Reck: Watched some “Degrassi.”
Johnbme: That’s good.
Johnbme: They air that show on the N network. That and “My So-Called Life.”
Johnbme: But I hate both Claire Danes and Jared Leto now. Ruins it.
Johnbme: I’m forced to root for Brian Krakow.
Reck: I love Krakow.
Johnbme: Of course you do. I, like most 13 year olds, hated him. He had no backbone.
Reck: I love him.
Johnbme: He would do anything for Angela even though she’d use him…all the time.
Johnbme: Like when she took his bike.
***
Johnbme: But too bad Jared Leto is like the biggest douche now.
Reck: Is he?
Johnbme: Talking to you is like talking to an alien.

Are there still people, aside from Recklesley, who don’t know the god awful human being Jared Leto has become? Although, this a-hole side of Jared may not be new, actually. I remember reading a “Details” interview with J-Leto when I was in 6th grade, and feeling let down by the fact that he was not exactly like Jordan Catalano. In that, he wasn’t illiterate, and didn’t write songs about his car, Red. But also because he seemed like a jerk. Yeah, I said it, a jerk. He exuded extreme pompousness, which must’ve been pretty present if I could pick up on it when I was 12, and he also stated that his biggest nightmare was to appear on “The Jay Leno Show.” Lame. And while he still hasn’t been a guest on the Tonight Show, he’s appeared on “Late Night with Carson Daly” not once, but twice. (To all celebrities: If you say something in an interview, and I read this interview, I will remember it. And I will call you out on your boldface hypocrisy…in this blog. Which you will definitely read.)

Speaking of Carson Daly, have you seen him lately? I’m worried.

Anyway, back to Jared, I’d like to discuss his recent transformation from quasi-normal, sort of jerkface, hottie-hot-hot…to weird, goth, ass.

Here is old Jared.

Here is new Jared.

Here is fat Jared.

He’s not fat anymore. He gained that weight for a role. But isn’t that weird? He looks like a different person. Anyway, as you can see, Jared has changed from his 1995 self. But I suppose we all have. However, I feel as though most of us, humans, have with the years become better people. But judging by this article, involving Leto’s uncontrollable temper, Elijah Wood, and some strangling, it’s clear Jared L. has only regressed back to a childlike behavior of physical violence, and whining.

Another example of Leto’s gross behavior– a recent quote from Jimmy Kimmel:
“[Jared Leto] was so insufferably satisfied with himself that I wanted to strangle him.”

– Talk show host and funnyman Jimmy Kimmel tells Stuff magazine, when asked if he ever had to hide his disdain for a guest.

I, coincidentally, caught this episode of Jimmy Kimmel. You should try to watch it on youtube, if it hasn’t already been taken down. At least try to see Leto’s “band,” 30 Seconds to Mars perform. It’s great. At one point Leto reaches out the microphone into the crowd, assuming audience members have memorized the lyrics to his song. I think the song was titled, “I Love Myself.” I suppose there may have been a few people who participated in the impromptu 30 Seconds to Mars Bars karaoke. But I can only assume they were either die-hard MSCL fans, or the type of people who can watch “Requiem for a Dream” more than once.

So, there it is. The top however many reasons on why Jared Leto is the worst. Hope you enjoyed this useless entry.

PS Here is the new Claire Danes Gap commercial. Just one of the many reasons why she is my most hated actress.

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4-train.gif5-train.gif The 4/5 Condom is smooth and efficient. It’ll get you there fast and it hardly ever breaks.

airtrain.gif  The AirTrain Condom is just like all the other condoms, but more expensive, modern and confusing. Give yourself at least two hours per use.

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