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Posts Tagged ‘Williamsburg’

My lease is up on July 1st. It’s June 22nd. Do I have a place to live? No. No I don’t. Is it from a lack of trying? Good lord no.

Myself and my roommate (Brooklyn Skeptic contributor ChezJJP) are two employed twenty-six-year olds. We live in a nice place in Park Slope in Brooklyn. Our landlady likes us, and sweetly told us that she didn’t want us to leave because we were such good tenants. We pay our rent on time. We have a combined income of over $80,000 a year. We’re handsome and polite. We give great massages. We floss. So why the fuck is it so hard for us to find an apartment?

Because New York is a cruel, overpopulated den of deception and chaos located several floors below the seventh layer of hell.

This is not the New York from the show Friends, where the characters live in huge, beautifully decorated apartments in lower Manhattan, paying the rent with the money they make being failed actors, waitresses and whatever the hell the weird one did. This is the New York where you have trouble getting an apartment in Red Hook (twenty minutes from a shitty subway which won’t even be running soon!) when you are the first person to see it and immediately ask to fill out an application. This is the New York where you see an apartment you like in Williamsburg and are so desperate to move in that you agree to give the landlord an $1800 deposit despite the fact that none of the light fixtures work and half of the apartment is flooded. This is the New York that turns you into a desperate, whorish shadow of the man you once saw in the mirror.

And apparently, this is the New York that makes you state the obvious in an effort to vent your frustrations. Clearly, if you live in New York, you’ve probably been through apartment searching hell (or you haven’t, in which case, you’re a jerk) and none of this is particularly eye-opening to you. But Jesus Christ! Who do you have to blow to pay too much to live in a cramped apartment in an already over-priced city???

Anyway, you’d better solve this problem for me, reader. Find me an apartment, pronto. Or else, you never know, I might move in with you and we’ll have a little You, Me and Dupree situation going on. And you don’t want that. Because that movie sucked.

Dont make me be the Owen Wilson to your Matt Dillon and Kate Hudson. Nobody wins in that equation.

Don't make me be the Owen Wilson to your Matt Dillon and Kate Hudson. Nobody wins in that equation.

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Before McCarren Park becomes a sweaty pile of back-tattooed hipsters, it is a nice place with pretty blossoms.

The view on Sunday.

The view in a few weeks.

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Our friends at Chief Magazine wanted to share this event with the highly esteemed readers of Brooklyn Skeptic, obvious taste-makers for the borough.

ChiefMag.com enthusiastically presents Best and Brightest: The Chief Spring Showcase, a group exhibition of five talented and accomplished photographers ripped from the interview catalogue of ChiefMag.com. To kick off this seasonal showcase series, Chief is exhibiting work by photographers Jaimie Warren, Santiago Mostyn, Maxim Ryazansky, Brad Troemel, and Jeff Barnett-Winsby.

Opening Reception! Open bar!
Fresh jams from DJ Rev McFly and DJ Teenwolf

Friday, May 2
7:00 – 11:00 PM

281 North 7th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn

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On Friday, November 2nd, 2007, ChiefMag.com partners with 3rd Ward, Brooklyn’s finest creative facility, for a blow-out evening that includes a silent art auction, film screenings, and a live rock show. Come by for 50 works of art, 8 films, 4 bands, 3 DJs, open bar, kissing booth… all in one night, under one roof! At the magnificent artistic venue of 3rd Ward, the ChiefMag.com SILENT AUCTION, NOT SO SILENT ROCK SHOW is guaranteed to satisfy anyone’s thirst for a creative evening of film, art, and music.

Friday, November 2
7:30 PM Film Screening
9:00 PM Open Bar
3rd Ward
195 Morgan Avenue (at Stagg Street)
East Williamsburg, Brooklyn

RSVP Here

auction_front_one.jpg

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In case some of you people don’t read one of the ten thousand blogs that review “Gossip Girl” on a weekly basis, I’m going to give you a rundown of what’s been going on. I want you all to be caught up to speed so you can fully enjoy tonight’s episode. Because you all should watch “Gossip Girl.” Each and every one of you. Even you boys.

Very quickly:

Serena – Main character. Blonde, beautiful, left NY mysteriously for one year but is back. Used to be a party girl.
Blair – Used to be BFForevs with Serena. Obvs is the less desirable of the duo since she is a brunette. Has secretly always been jealous of Serena, and for good reason.
Nate – Blair’s boyfriend. Is a tool. Slept with Serena before she left. Is the reason why Blair hates Serena.
Dan – Good guy. Is not rich. Likes Serena.
Chuck – Evil and insanely rich. Is the most ridiculous human being on earth. Is my favorite character.

Episode One: review

Episode Two: Serena decides she really likes Dan after their first date. Dan is secretly embarrassed because he tried to say “bye” to Serena as she left the cab at the end of the night, but she didn’t hear him. It was cute. Also cute, the point in the episode where Blair parades around her bedroom in a corset and sheer robe with fur cuffs. And by cute I mean weird. And old seeming. Like, old-timey seeming.

Back to the plot, for their second date Serena invites Dan to The Rapist’s (aka Chuck Bass’s) weekly brunch held at The Palace Hotel. If I had a bajillion dollars I would hold a brunch like this. And like the show, I would only invite high schoolers and serve them alcohol. Just seems like the right thing to do. Anyway, while at brunch, Dan feels out of place since unlike everyone else in attendance he’s from humble beginnings. Dan, for those of you who don’t know, lives in Brooklyn with his father and younger sister. They live in massive loft in Williamsburg. And I know, W-burg is basically the same price as Manhattan. BUT, here’s what I figure: Dan’s father is a musician and it seems as though he’s been living in NY for a while. So, it’s possible he bought a place in Wills when it was more industrial and less hipster occupied. Hence, this show is completely realistic. Now, where was I…oh right, a million dollar brunch hosted by a seventeen year old.

Towards the end of the brunch Dan finds out Serena sexed it up with Nate while Nate was still dating Blair. Dan says, “I thought you were different.” Serena says, “I thought you were too.” And then they go their (Journey) separate ways.

Episode Three: Episode three begins with a school assembly that kicks off with an a capella version of Fergie’s “Glamorous.” I must say, had our morning events begun with our high school choir singing “Angel of Mine” by Monica, I assure you, I wouldn’t have skipped every single AM gathering that didn’t take attendance. (Once, I decided to sleep in rather than participate in this activity called I-Flirt where every student filled out a questionnaire and discovered which classmates they were most compatible with. To this day, I regret never knowing who my high school soul mate was. [Pizappas, remember when X-n’s number one match was MD, her arch nemesis?])

So, this assembly is important because its focus is on Ivy Week, and Ivy Week’s grand finale where reps from every Ivy league school come to scout out who’s hot and who’s not. It’s a very big event. And can in many ways make or break these students’ chances of getting into school. Since it’s pretty clear SAT scores or grades are no longer important.

A little further into the show, Chuck, from his limo, spots Serena entering a rehab facility. After slowly rolling up his tinted glass window until all you see are Chuck’s eyes framed between two black objects, he tells Blair the news. Both consider this to be the juciest of the juicy, and Blair plans to expose Serena’s “drug problem” to the Ivy reps and class at the week’s main event. (Bitch!) But neither C or B know that Serena was actually going in to visit her brother who recently tried to off himself.

Finally, at the Ivy affair, as planned, Blair announces to the entire crowd that Serena’s pulling a Lohan (rehab). Shortly after, Serena’s brother charges up to Blair and reveals to her his wrist scars. Blair feels remorse. And not because she was most likely wearing a corset underneath her dress, but because she realizes Serena’s life is hard. Then in the final scene Blair reads Serena a letter she wrote to her, but never sent, while Serena was away at boarding school asking S why she left without saying goodbye, explains how she needs S and wants to talk to her, and lastly, how her dad left her mom for “a 31 year-old model. A male model.” (That quote right there deserves four stars.)

The two then cry together under a central park bridge and it seems are once again a united front. <@:)

Episode Four: Serena and Blair are once again BFFs. Blair’s mother, a fashion designer, decides to put Blair in her new ad. While at the fashion shoot everyone realizes Serena has more presence than Blair and Blair’s mom thinks Serena should model instead. Blair tells Serena she steals everything from her, which is technically true, and Serena explains she was told they were doing the shoot together. Blair confronts her mom about being a cold-hearted bitch, and B and S steal B’s mom’s dresses and take glamour shots of each other at Columbus Circle.

Subplot: A pal from Nate and Chuck’s past comes back. He’s a self-proclaimed hippie who comes from money. You know, everyone’s favorite type of person. Chuck does not like hippie and cannot understand why Nate would want to hang out with him, “We’re who you aim to be, not run away from.” Truer words have never been spoken, Chuck.

Everyone’s fave rapist

Fake poor guy tricks Nate into a high stakes poker game, where he is secretly guaranteed to lose. Nate loses $10,000, cannot pay it at the moment, almost gets beat to death, until Chuck barges in and saves the day. Chuck threatens hippie to leave them alone or else, and pays off Nate’s losses. I like the route this series is taking. Everyone who watches this show is well aware of the fact that Chuck is a serial rapist who mostly targets girls just out of middle school. And yet the producers felt compelled to make this guy into a hero. As if to say, everyone has a good side. Even rapists. Bravo, Gossip Girl. Bravo indeed.

xoxo
jbm

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As a psuedo-amateur photographerist, I rummage through quite a bit of other people’s work. One such photographer is Jay Parkinson. I’ve always looked with a tinge of envy at the shots he sets up, and always keep it in the back of my mind to learn from his growing work.

Well, he’s decided to not only beat me at photography but at life (impressive feat). Recently he has devised a new style of medical practice in the exotic borough of Williamsburg. He sits around with his 24-access to email and instant messenger, and is ready to advise you whenever. He’ll come to your house, business, local hipster cafe’, or under a dark overpass.

Dark Underpasses are A-OK

So…you give him about $500. Then you can text him “Hai mai hart hertz, ow!”, and he will respond in kind. Mostly through the fanciness of the internet, using pictures/webcams…which lets him charge this relatively lower price. It seems you get two house visits per year free after which there will be a complicated algorithm designed to see how far away you are (and thus how uncool you are) from Williamsburg. He has also claimed to have searched all up and down New York for prices on various procedures and medicine if you need to find the cheaper alternatives.
If you are part of teh uninsured but have a cell phone, computer, internet, digital camera, webcam, and such…sounds like a great idea. This is probably something to try out, and it supports innovation in medicine, goes against those money eatings insurance companies, and supports your creative MD’d brooklyners.

For better information than I can give (from a website that will end up giving you a headache), you can look for yourself: http://www.jayparkinsonmd.com/

In a WIRED interview, he claims “I’ll probably make some exceptions or accept artwork for my services,”. There’s hope at beating him at photography yet! Then getting a free “head turn & cough”.

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