Posts Tagged ‘Sucks’

Ann Coulter is a bitch. This is a statement as absolute as “water is wet” or “Brooklyn is rad.” One of her books, Slander: Liberal Lies about the American Right, sits on my night stand. I read it from time to time, most often only for a chapter, until I get so pissed off that I change to Goodnight Moon to calm myself before bed. I read the essays on her website, where she talks about how dispicable Hollywood is, how anyone voting for Obama is simply suffering from “White Guilt” and, my personal favorite, how the media consists of a bunch of attention-grabbing whores. I read her. And I understand, I’m part of the problem. I’m fueling the fire. Pouring salt on the sociopolitical wound. Sadly, I enjoy reading her not just because of her inflammatory nature, but because while I often disagree with her, I also think she’s a pretty damn good writer.

And now Ms. Coulter has thrown in her two cents about the Virginia Tech massacre. I’m with her for the beginning. When faced with tragedies in this country, there is always an overwhelmingly optimistic desire to fix things. Americans (and other countries as well) feel the need to blame something, be it violence in entertainment, the parents, the school systems, in order to feel better. There’s nothing wrong with this, it’s basic human nature. We see something wrong, and we want to fix it. To fix it, it needs to be assigned to a problem. I think Ann understands this too. However she goes on to say that:

“Virginia Tech even prohibits students with concealed-carry permits from carrying their guns on campus. Last year, the school disciplined a student for carrying a gun on campus, despite his lawful concealed-carry permit. If only someone like that had been in Norris Hall on Monday, this massacre could have been ended a lot sooner.”

Gun control is a ridiculously complicated issue, and the concealed carry laws have danced back and forth between states for decades. But there are a few things that I think Ms. Coulter needs to think about. First of all, a concealed carry law would not have stopped the shootings from happening, as she suggests earlier on in her essay. School shootings, at least in the cases of Virginia Tech, Columbine and the University of Texas, are never carried out with escape intentions. They are carried out by disturbed, jaded, (and in the case of Texas, mentally imbalanced) people who know that they will be ending their lives at some point during the attack. So somehow, I doubt they are afraid of being shot, whether by their own hand or someone else’s. Allowing private citizens to carry concealed weapons isn’t going to stop someone from unleashing their pent-up, violent aggression towards society. Also, it should be noted that the concealed carry laws would allow these private citizens to carry their weapons not just in times of desired heroism, but all the time. That’s great that Ann gives statistics saying “States that allowed citizens to carry concealed handguns reduced multiple-shooting attacks by 60 percent and reduced the death and injury from these attacks by nearly 80 percent,” but what about individual attacks? I can understand that some of these attacks may be cut short by another gunman taking out a mass murderer, but what about the individual gun violence accounts? What about the fact that we’d be adopting the same principles that were around in the old west? Doesn’t raising people in an environment where, in any heated situation, they can fall back on having a weapon in their pocket, seem a little fucking crazy?

I know that getting upset about something that Ann Coulter says makes as much sense as farting with the windows up, but this is an issue that a majority of the country stands behind by using the second amendment. Between the old west and revolutionary times, it seems that a lot of people in this country are more interested in regression than anything else. I know that even the most strong-minded people, in the wake of a tragedy, are desperate to make things better. Allowing private citizens to carry guns in their pockets is not the way to do that.

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I believe I’ve figured it all out.

Every time Congress is investigating the current administration, there is a widespread attack of memory loss. They suddenly can’t remember talking to other staff members, emails they sent, letters given, meetings, etc. Alberto Gonzales can’t remember if he was involved with the firings of the attorneys, his assistant doesn’t remember talking to Rove, etc.

All you can do is take their word and move on. Thank goodness, I mean if they remembered, someone could challenge their honesty and then throw around words like “lies” and “perjury”. It would all just slow down these investigations.

Seriously, someone needs to step in. Find the best Doctors, becauseĀ I believe there’s a health crisis going on. They must have a very potent virus running around the capitol, eating their memories. The sooner we can quarantine everyone and find a cure, the sooner we can find the answers that we need.

I wish them all a speedy recovery.

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I don’t understand this season of American Idol. It’s incredibly bad. It’s so bad I actually removed it from my dvr “series recording” list. Removed it. I rarely do this, for any show. Example: I still have “Frasier” listed to record. (That is a secret between you and me, Brooklyn Skeptic readers. And it shall never be discussed in person.) Anyway, my point is that, clearly, my standards for television are relatively low. Not including reality-tv shows. Since I hate them all. Except for Project Runway. And Extreme Makeover – Home Edition. And sometimes America’s Next Top Model. And past American Idols. And the first season of Temptation Island. But that’s it. (That’s so not it.)

Anyway, since I will no longer be tuning into this season of Suck-erican Idol, I’d like to share with you my final thoughts on the program.

To the THREE people who forgot the lyrics to their songs: Are you serious? One song. You had to memorize the lyrics to one song. And not even the whole song, pretty much just the recognizable part. And you blew it. How is this possible? Story: In 5th grade I had to memorize the Apostles’ Creed in its entirety. (I went to Catholic school.) Was it difficult? Very. Did I care about it? Not really. Though, I’m sure at the time I was convinced I would descend into the depths of hell if I couldn’t recite it by heart. But the point is, I was given a task, and completed it. Do I still remember the prayer? That’s not important. What’s important is that even at 10 years old, I was better than these American Idol-ers. (Also, I had a heavenly voice. My rendition of “Let There Be Peace on Earth” would have made you weep.)

To America: Why are you voting for that guy who looks like Nosferatu? Not only is he creepy, he’s like the weirdest person in general. Do you not feel uncomfortable watching him? I do.


And Sanjaya: Sanjaya, Sanjaya, Sanjaya. I had such high hopes for Sanj, but he has what I like to refer to as, negative stage presence, and negative good style. Meaning, he is a weak singer, and his hair is insane…ly feminine. I think Sanjaya is perhaps, a woman. Which is fine, but I don’t think he knows this yet, which is why he can’t work up to his full potential. Since he is having an identity crisis. Either way, I don’t enjoy watching him/her.

sanjaya girl

That’s all I really have to say about this season of A.I. There are a couple really, really talented female singers, but they in no way compensate for the 9 people who suck.

So, American Idol, I bid you, adieu.

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