Posts Tagged ‘Sports’

West Virigina votes today. It’s interesting to see how this has all been shaping up lately. Each of the candidates trying hard to connect with the hard working types of the midwest…ish..ness.

First, Obama picks up a masculine centric game that doesn’t end in embarassment. Pool.

By the way I’ve tried that behind-the-back shot several times. I’ve missed every one of them. So this should mean something to the electorate. I have also been thinking about the “masculinity off” of last election and how as far as the most recent ones go (bowling and pool?), they are rather wimpy ones. Even metro sexual. Very low chances of getting out of breath or breaking a nail. There’s less of that gun wielding and football throwing.

Now I hope I’m not showing my bias too much, because I blame Hillary for the lack of testosterone so far (this is surprising because as some of you may have heard, she has three testicles) I’m sure she’s turned down any of the challenges of a nice cage match wrestling event (editors note: turns out this was incorrect), and instead has really hidden away in the drink. This is a really clever way of avoiding the more physical pandering maneuvers, and clinches last year’s segment of “I’d like to drink with that candidate” vote. Which really, turns out to be a great test for president.

Either way, she is set to win West Virginia. A thing of note is that West Virginia has a claim to fame. They like claiming, “Every nominee has carried the state‚Äôs primary since 1976, and no Democrat has won the White House without winning West Virginia since 1916.”. It’s a beautiful sentiment: That the quaint, nice, sometimes misinformed (come on, secret Muslims can’t play pool!), hard working West Virginians, are microcosms of American Democrats everywhere! The truth I found much more amusing. Turns out, they’re just always last at these things. So by always being last, they get to choose the presumptive nominee any ways. Well spun West Virginia, well spun. You deserve it though, after years of feeling like the “other” Virginia…you need something to hold on to!

Well so tonight we’ll see how this primary turns out. But it’s still more than likely that Obama will clench the nomination, giving me hope that I might see Obama and McCain have an arm wrestling match for the general election. Then we’ll know for sure who is tough enough to be the President of the United States.

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Even though it was devastating to get kicked out of the post-season, the Mets got a little comeuppance this week when God himself rained fire and brimstone upon the Yankees.


This game, it was insane to watch. Shortly after the flood lights turned on to illuminate a game I couldn’t possibly have cared less about, these disgusting little bugs – “Canadian Soldiers,” according to the announcer – invaded the field. There were millions of them. It looked like it was snowing. Joba Chamberlain, who I hear is generally unflappable, pretty much lost his mind while a layer of bugs landed and remained on his face, neck and hat. Sitting inside, watching on HD, my skin was crawling. Not even a Yankee deserves that.

But anyway, not that that game was related to the Mets at all, but I think that was just God’s way of expressing displeasure at the state of Major League Baseball in which the Mets could fail so miserably.

Undisputed winner: Off! Bug Repellent. I’ve never seen so much free advertising in my life.

Undisputed loser: The Yankees. But even though I hate them, they probably would have won without the bugs.

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