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Posts Tagged ‘Shotdogs’

Harpers reports that Daniel Pipes, founder of campuswatch and general proponent of repressiveness and hatemongering, has officially signed on to be an advisor to presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani.

Daniel Pipes Notable Quotables:

“Diplomacy rarely ends conflicts…the oft-heard mantra that ‘there is no military solution’ in short, has things exactly wrong.”

“Iraq’s plight is neither a coalition responsibility nor a particular danger to the West. Fixing Iraq is neither the coalition’s responsibility, nor its burden. When Sunni terrorists target Shi’ites and vice versa, non-Muslims are less likely to be hurt. “

Huzzah!

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I have already expressed my ceaseless, violent anger at the terms “Daddy Party” and “Mommy Party,” but now political gendering has gone a step further. Salon.com posted an article last week called “Hillary is from Mars, Obama is from Venus,” which basically argued that Obama is a bigger girl than Hillary Clinton, despite the fact that she has ovaries. Admittedly, Brooklyn Skeptic is guilty of regularly reinforcing gender stereotypes, but we’re just trying to be cute. The rest of the world is not cute.

Michael Scherer writes for Salon.com,

Throughout history, American presidents have been men’s men who puff their out chests against evil. Think Teddy Roosevelt on safari, Jack Kennedy in PT-109, Ronald Reagan on his horse, or George W. Bush with a chain saw clearing brush. If leaders show any slackening of testosterone, especially in wartime, they are quickly derided as wimps (George H.W. Bush), a Frenchman (John Kerry) or weaklings (Jimmy Carter). But on the Democratic campaign trail these days, where the first woman in U.S. history is making a serious run at the White House, gender roles are being swapped.

He cites Clinton’s tough-as-nails demeanor and Obama’s exultation to dream together as evidence of their misplaced genders.

I think we’re all just missing the boat here and being lazy with our lexicon. A person who believes he or she should rightfully be the president of the United States is going to have a particular set of personality traits that are not necessarily common in all people. These traits, I suppose, would be a dominant personality, with some delusions of grandeur, egoism, ambition and obstinance. One could also rightly suspect that the candidate would be uncommonly intelligent, personable, charismatic, and good looking. However, these second-ranked traits are not required to be president, and are easier to fake with the right staff.

As our political arena becomes ever-so-slightly more accessible to non-white-and-male Americans each year, we are beginning to see that these traits are exclusive neither to one gender nor to one racial background. Politicians, like members of every other profession that I can think of, can be basically anyone, assuming they have the above mentioned personality traits. So when Scherer talks about the flipped gender roles of the leading democratic candidates, Obama and Clinton, he, too, is being lazy. Scherer quotes Clinton saying that she is “not running because [she is] a woman. [She is] running because [she thinks she is] the best qualified and experienced person to hit the ground running in January 2009.” While Scherer interprets this as another masculine move, downplaying her femininity and underscoring her ambition (so unladylike), I see this as just another example of the presidential power trait (patent pending, jerk). Clinton believes she knows a better way and she thinks she should lead the county there.

Scherer shows Obama

[Singing] an empowerment ballad on the stump that would make most lady folk singers proud. “The decision to go to war is not a sport,” he tells crowds, rejecting the male metaphor. “We can discover the better part of ourselves as a nation,” he says. “We can dream big dreams.”

Sadly, under all of this inflammatory gender comparison (singing vs. sports), what is ignored is the actual power behind his words. While he isn’t clearing brush or womanizing, he’s calling for revolution of our political system. I don’t know if that’s “feminine,” but it certainly betrays his presidential power trait. He also knows a better way. He thinks he should be the one to lead the U.S. out of this shitshow we’re in. There’s no way that any of this is masculine or feminine. This is nothing but total politician. We need a third gender when we’re talking about politicians. Maybe it’s the presence of two assholes instead of typical male or female genitals.

So what? So maybe we should start listening to the actual ideas and strategies and stop trying to put every fucking thing into these circumscribed categories of acceptable gender behavior. No Mommy Party and Daddy Party. No bitch. No man’s man. No brush clearing. No Indigo Girls.

**Update: Scherer responds to readers tearing him a new one…

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In a city only slightly less depraved than New York, but equally hated by most of America, our fine Mayor Bloomberg shuffled his Republican party affiliation off this mortal coil. Yesterday in Los Angeles, Bloomberg announced that he will now vote as an independent and run as an independent…if he so chooses to run for any particular office in the future…not that he is saying he is…it’s really more of a house-keeping type thing…you know, because…okay fine! He wants to be president, damn it! He just hates guns and loves abortion too much to be Republican. And he hates poor people to much to be a Democrat.

The gagillionaire Mayor explained to a California audience that included Gov. Schwarzenegger the many critiques he has for both the Republican and Democratic parties. The Governator retorted, “stop whining, you idiot!” He then got in his Hummer and drove away. After the disruption, Bloomberg continued to to address the crowd: “Any successful elected executive knows that real results are more important than partisan battles, and that good ideas should take precedence over rigid adherence to any particular political ideology.” He later added, “unless we’re talking about sweet, sweet capitalism.”

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Apparently Hillary Clinton is turning to the American public for her new campaign song. Spin Magazine has thrown out a few options, including Bikini Kill’s “Rebel Girl,” Hole’s “Miss World,” Depeche Mode’s “Policy of Truth,” Magnetic Fields’ “I Don’t Believe You” and Missy’s “She’s a Bitch.”

I was thinking Camera Obscura – “Let’s Get Out of this Country?” Or “Anything You Can Do I Can do Better” from Annie Get Your Gun? She could even dance on stage with Claire Danes and exchange pants! That would not only get my vote, but show America who wears the pants in the White House. However this might make me wish that Doris Day and Robert Goulet would be running mates.

Any ideas Brooklyn Skeptic?

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Oh, thank God.

mccain.jpg

I know that there was a lot of confusion about his intentions, but McCain has finally announced that he is running for president. Let the straight talk begin continue.

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MoveOn.org is inviting all of us to a virtual town hall to talk about Iraq with Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, John Edwards, Bill Richardson, Dennis Kucinich, and Joe Biden. Earnestness is not my forte, but I think this is genuinely good.

Virtual Town Hall: Iraq
Tuesday, April 10
7:15 PM

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Cheney, Cheney, Cheney. There are already rumors that you suck the blood from the homeless, that you have turned immortal by eating babies, that you’re actually The Penguin from Batman…

Don't Look In The BushesBut this?

WTF? There have been several theories thrown around of what’s happening in this picture. I agree that maybe he’s somehow controlling Bush, from his shrubbery. I think it has to do something with his laser eyes. He stares long enough and you submit to his will, and I’ve heard his evil eyes kills puppies and kittens too.

The moral of the story is that Cheney is inhuman, creepy, and probably going to somehow take over in 2008.

I bet Rove has something to do with this. That man is a genius. I’m going to bet that he wants to send the not-so-subtle message that Cheney could be anywhere, hiding in your local shrubbery, watching your every move. They’re so advanced! They don’t even need wiretaps! Cheney is slowly becoming uber-powerful with his ability to steal souls and control you with his laser eyes.

I just thought everyone should know. I mean we have it easier here in New York because there’s not a lot of underbrush for Cheney to hide in…but please be careful…you’ll never know when he’ll pop out and…shoot your face and eat your still beating heart.

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Myspace could not have asked me a more appropriate question this morning as I hastily added four presidential candidates to my extremely exclusive friends list. Sometimes politicians have a hard time recognizing the difference between irony and genuine support. So I didn’t add Mitt Romney. If I did, I’m pretty sure that would legally bind us in holy matrimony. I’m not really ready to settle down, Mitt. And I can’t share you with my sister-wives.

So, let me introduce you to my new friends:

obama.jpg mccain.jpg dennis.jpgrudy.jpg

Like peas in the pod of my “Top 8”

 

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the thing with I know this should be called, “Drowning in Republican Tears #2”, but I can’t avoid sensationalist headlines.

To start things out, the Republican Party puts a lot of stock into being homogeneous, despite being filled to the brim with libertarians, fiscal conservatives, neocons, hardcore evangelicals and so forth. This is all because the Republican Party’s strategy is to create/find a resonating idea (with hyped rhetoric), like communism, terrorism, the moral decay of society, whatever…and then push forward with a hypothetical united front. Then there they are, the Republican base holding hands in unison, singing kumbaya, fighting the good fight, while the evil Democrats are just angry, mean, and disagreeable. It’s really a beautiful dance of cogs and gears.

The great thing about Giuliani is, right when the Republican Party is out trying to find it’s new voice, recovering from scandals and internal doubt, the most Democrat Republican (or just the oddest Republican) is polled first for the Republican primaries. It’s quite wonderful because it undermines the whole idea of the Republican movement. It ruins their aura of homogeny, shows the weakening of the evangelical base, and to top it off Giuliani is completely and utterly unelectable. I won’t even get to his failed personal life, which even makes mine look rosy (ie I break up with girls via text messages, he breaks up with his wife via a public press conference*). He has no experience with public policy on the federal or even state level, and even his 9-11 strengths aren’t that strong.

I’m not saying that Giuliani is sticking with these beliefs, that would be too much to ask from a candidate. Instead he’s scrambling to the right like McCain (or any other candidate’s “readjustments”), trying to find a way to renounce the platforms he’s ran on in the past. He’s already stated that he will only appoint baby loving judges to the Supreme Court. Don’t worry though, we can still watch him as he wiggles around his ideas of gun control and gay marriage. It’ll be amazing to see a man eat his own foot.

So for every moment that Rudy Giuliani is holding the race, he’s a symbol of the present collapse of the Republican Party (besides Bush himself, Mark Foley, Abramoff, “Scooter”, Gonzales…I give up).

*To any single females reading this, I don’t actually break up with people via text messages. Just the occasional email/voicemail. Or sometimes notes with cut letters from a magazine.

P.S.

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Republican Party, you have made your god weep.

I really take glee in all of the proclamations of the downfall of the Republican Party (Yet two years ago they said the same about Democrats). It’s probably due to the overwhelming arrogance that it embodies. With people like Bush, Cheney, Gonzoles as the poster-boys. It’s like the joy of watching the bullies and villains at the end of movies get thrown down into a pit of snakes (my apologies, I’ve watched a lot of Indiana Jones).

In my first installment, let’s talk about our favorite Mr. John McCain.

(more…)

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