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Posts Tagged ‘Rush Hour’

Harpers reports that Daniel Pipes, founder of campuswatch and general proponent of repressiveness and hatemongering, has officially signed on to be an advisor to presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani.

Daniel Pipes Notable Quotables:

“Diplomacy rarely ends conflicts…the oft-heard mantra that ‘there is no military solution’ in short, has things exactly wrong.”

“Iraq’s plight is neither a coalition responsibility nor a particular danger to the West. Fixing Iraq is neither the coalition’s responsibility, nor its burden. When Sunni terrorists target Shi’ites and vice versa, non-Muslims are less likely to be hurt. “

Huzzah!

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Remember Scooter Libby? He was the one who got convicted of perjury and obstructing justice. That whole Valerie Plame thing. Her husband was an ambassador who said that the administration was lying about Iraq buying uranium in Africa (back before we shock and awed them – remember that shit?). The administration got pissed and so they told Robert Novak, this conservative columnist to write a column “outting” Valerie Plame as the CIA agent that she so was. Turning against “their own.” Or whatever. Clearly issues exist between the exec’s and the CIA type of people, but to me they’re all government people doing sneaky stuff.

Anyway, that was a long time ago. And Scooter Libby was the chief of staff for Dick Cheney. And he was the one who took the fall for all of it. I don’t say that to mean that he wasn’t guilty, but just that he obviously wasn’t the only guilty one.

So he got sentenced to 30 months in prison and $250,000. But, I guess Bush agreed with this guy:

“This is not a man who deserves to go to jail in any sense of the word,” said Kenneth L. Adelman, a former Defense Department official and longtime friend of Mr. Libby, who stayed at his Colorado vacation home before his trial.

“Whatever he did wrong, he certainly paid,” Mr. Adelman said, referring to Mr. Libby’s resignation from his prominent position and his public humiliation. “This is a good person who served his country very well and is a decent person,” he said.

Bush commuted his sentence – meaning that he doesn’t have to serve any jail time. Huh.

Me? I aree with this guy:

Senator Harry Reid of Nevada, the majority leader, called the commutation “disgraceful.”

“Libby’s conviction was the one faint glimmer of accountability for White House efforts to manipulate intelligence and silence critics of the Iraq War,” Mr. Reid said. “Now, even that small bit of justice has been undone.”

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about.brooklyn told my Google Dashboard that the Hampton Jitney now stops at Fourth Ave & Union, Fourth Ave & Ninth, Atlantic & Third Ave, and Cadman Plaza!

I for one, am relieved. How many times have I scuffed my Louis Vuitton matched luggage set shlepping (excuse me, traversing) around the city trying to find my way out to the Hamptons!

On the scale of gentrification, I think “getting a local Hamptons express stop” is somewhere above “coffee shop” and just below “Dean & Deluca is your only neighborhood grocery store.” What is it called after gentrification?

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Lastings Milledge – funny-named, hubris-filled, 12-year-old 22-year-old Mets outfielder – has a side project that I totally didn’t know about. He’s the CEO of Soul-ja Boi Records and, even more excitingly, is a guest rapper on the song “Bend Ya Knees” featured on an upcoming album.

Some important issues to note:

He is going by “L Millz” on the album. This is only slightly worse than his actual name.

“Boi” is such a cute way to spell “boy.”

The song features some mega-potty-mouth, not necessarily uttered by L Millz, but certainly by nearby party. What will this say about the otherwise lovely-tempered, corn-fed Mets?

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Might I suggest something for the sappy and/or jaded among us?

The New York Times online has a video series called “Vows” in which a pair of young, affluent New Yorkers explain how they fell in love and got engaged. Oh sure, they had their trials – she went off to Paris for a semester and fell for a man who warmed her WASPy heart with his thick accent while he stayed behind at Dartmouth, wearing Chinos and developing an addiction to single malt scotch. After graduation, he got into the hedge fund game and she found herself in PR for major publisher. Some time later, they ran into each other again at Balthazar and remembered the truth about their relationship. They must fulfill their destinies and create tiny, near-translucent children for whom they will hire a team of au pairs who will feed them caviar from a sippy cup.

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My father once told me to keep as many doors (opportunities) open for as long as possible. As soon as you commit to one door, any number of others close behind you. This is sage advice which I have chosen to apply to my selection of subway routes, if nothing else in my life.

It is with this adage in mind that I humbly submit my version of the best route from 9th Street and 4th Avenue in Brooklyn to 15th Street and 5th Avenue in Manhattan (ew) during the morning weekday rush hour.

First, you’re going to want to go below ground to the R/M platform as opposed to the above ground F platform. Even at this early stage, you can see how the guiding principle applies: you can take whatever train that shows up first. Upstairs at the F, there is only one possible train.

Next, take the R/M two stops to Atlantic. Look across the platform. Do you see the N train there? Take it. Is there no train across the platform? That’s okay – just get out and wait. There’s a 90% chance it will be there within four minutes. Do you see the N train leaving the platform as you arrive? No problem! The train driver’s a total bitch and nobody loves him which is why he’s acting out at the poor suckers on the local train. In this case, stay on the R/M for one more stop – to DeKalb.

Now you really ought to get off the train. Across the platform, you should see a Q train (or else it will arrive shortly). Get on that and take it two stops to Union Square. Exit towards the rear of the train, which will deposit you on the west side of the park, next to 15th street. Walk one short block (Union Square West to 5th Avenue), and you’re there.

You can see already that statistics are on your side with this route. If any train is fucked up, too crowded, missing, on fire, or anything else, you just go onto the next one, always keeping as many routes open as possible.

Additional points to consider:

  • My route has a maximum of 5 stops (though it’s usually 4), as compared to the F train’s 85 million stops.
  • The walk from 6th Ave to 5th Ave is incomparably longer than the one from Union Square West to 5th Ave.
  • The F train is one crowded M.F., no matter what.
  • The F tracks flood if there is any amount of rain or if it is too humid.
  • Once you’ve committed to the F, all other doors are closed. You are at its complete mercy. And daddy always said, “don’t let the train make you its bitch.”
  • So, R.K., you got a better way?

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