Posts Tagged ‘rove’

We here at Brooklyn Skeptic see a lot of movies, whether they collect our eleven dollars or not. More specifically however, we see a lot of movies in Brooklyn. Brooklyn may not have the number of movie theaters that Manhattan is boasting, but I’ve been to a few gems. In the Bococa/Park Slope/Downtown/Brooklyn Heights region, there are several fun places where you can go to see everything from Bruckheimer to Buñuel. These are four that I frequent probably a little too often.

Park Slope Pavilion: While this theater wins in its proximity to most Brooklyn Skeptics, it loses in many other ways. It has the exterior aesthetic of a classic movie house with a bright shining marquis, but the featured films rarely do it justice. Basically these are the run of the mill flicks that can be seen pretty much anywhere. If you’re hankering to see the new “Eddie Murphy plays eighteen characters” movie or perhaps the new “Holy Shit Bruce Willis blows shit up real good” movie, then you will easily find it here. However, several other things come along with the price of admission. These things are hordes of crying children, seating that has been vomited upon, and small screens. I have wandered over here for several blockbusters on hungover Saturdays and Sundays (and Tuesdays) and have been met with a screen smaller than my grandmother’s television, babies screaming in my ear and what I can only assume was toxic waste on my seat (I now have gills – thanks Pavilion). So basically, if you’ve been looking for a place to see Norbit while squinting, cradling a random child and getting gum stuck on your shoe, there you go. Grade: D

United Artists on Court Street: This theater is similar to a typical Manhattan cineplex. I say this because it also plays commercial movies, has intimidating crowds outside all of the time and often requires an oxygen tank to reach some of the incredible levels one has to climb to view their desired movie. When approaching there is always a line going out the door for the ticket counter. If you have a credit card or have pre-ordered your tickets, you can bypass this and go to their automated ticket machines. These, like Union Square, often don’t work. Once you finally get your ticket and enter the theater, the guy ripping your ticket will usually say something like “Theater 18, take the escalator until your vertigo kicks in.” Once inside however, it should be said that these theaters are comfortable and relaxed. The screens are all of a decent size and the chairs recline. And as Pizappas has noted, the hysteria often provides wonderful movie-hopping opportunities. For your average blockbuster, skip the Pavilion and come here. Grade: C+

BAM Rose Cinemas: The first thing that one notices upon walking into the BAM theaters is the decor. Tall ceilings and beautiful architecture only compliment the wonderful collection of independent films both new and old that are shown here. They have four averaged sized screens that are perfectly suited for an elegant and comfortable movie experience (perfect for dates). In addition to their first run features, they are currently hosting events such as the New York Korean Film Festival, The New Decade: Hong Kong Film and a series of films that Paul Giamatti has chosen called Paul Giamatti Selects (which features an eclectic group of picks including The Big Clock and Invasion of the Body Snatchers). If one is looking for a classy and romantic evening of Brooklyn cinema, look no further. Grade: A

Cobble Hill Cinemas: This is a great theater. They play an interesting collection of films and have a very friendly staff. It is also a cheaper theater, as they offer matinee prices and a reduced regular rate (I believe it’s $9). The walls are painted with screen shots from Frankenstein and Casablanca, and the concession stand isn’t too bad either. The theater itself is apparently quite historic as well, and has been around since the sixties. That being said, they also have smaller screens, some gum on the ground and less leg room. But whether you’re feeling like seeing a popcorn movie or more arthouse fare, you can usually find what you want here. Grade: B+

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I make fun, but on the inside I’m actually superdeeduper excited about this upcoming event…

Indie folk dreamboat Sufjan Stevens, composer of the incredible albums “Greetings from Michigan: The Great Lakes State” and “Come on Feel the Illinoise,” (who says he plans to write an album about each of the 50 states, which at the unrealistic pace of an album per year is a project that should be complete by the time he’s 80) is scheduled to perform his newest opus, “The BQE” in November at Emeril Lagasse’s favorite venue, the Brooklyn Academy of Music.

hubba hubba

Sufjan Stevens reveals the epic in the everyday in songs infusing the vernacular of Midwestern folk with a distinctly orchestral grandeur. Stevens pairs orchestrated selections of both new and old material with the 25th Next Wave Festival commission/world premiere of The BQE—a symphonic and cinematic exploration of one of New York’s least celebrated monuments: the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway.

“Robert Moses’ controversial 11.7-mile roadway tears through neighborhoods in Brooklyn and Queens with the brute force of modern urban planning, and in Stevens’ hands becomes an evocation of the intersection of intimate experience and the American Dream. Merging a virtual road trip shot on film with a live band and orchestral ensemble, The BQE discovers abstract patterns and stories in the snaking traffic, potholed pavement, billboards, badly marked exits, and beautiful city views, revealing what happens when Manifest Destiny converges with urban blight.


Anyway, while I pitch my tent tonight to wait in a ticket line that will eventually wrap around Fort Greene (tix go on sale September 4th), I’ll start guessing song titles.

Track 1: Neverending (A)stori(a)
Track 4: Baby on Board! (Dear Park Slope, The Gowanus Canal Needs its Diaper Changed)
Track 8: Williamsburg (Where Crazy Hipsters Are Actually Naming Their Babies “Sufjan”)

P.S. – I really want to see this 50 states project get done, but I’m afraid I won’t live to see it, so I propose Sufeepoo contract some states out to other Americana acts…I reckon he should finish the midwest himself, give Iron & Wine the deep south, Calexico the southwest, Bonnie “Prince” Billy the Northwest, Brown Bird New England…and let Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi fight over the Tri-State area.

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Grindhouse + BAM = Very Hot.

Last Friday evening, 4/6/07, Team Brooklyn Skeptic & Friends screened the Rodriguez/Tarantino double feature “Grindhouse” at the Brooklyn Academy of Music, aka BAM. Aka, the best joint stage/movie theater in town. BAM’s presented stadium seating is fit for a King. Or I guess a more suitable comparison would be, it is fit for a really short person. Like, really short. Like a baby.

I would suggest going to BAM for your movie viewing pleasures, not just for the stadium seating but because watching films at a performing arts arena makes one seem/feel more cultured. This is true. Do not deny. And if you’re anything like me, you could use all the culture points you can get. Which, judging by the fact that you’re reading this right now, you probably do….need those culture points.

Moving along, let’s discuss “Grindhouse” and its awesomeness, shall we? We shall. Both Robert Rodriguez’s “Planet Terror” and Quentin Tarantino’s “Death Proof” are total achievements in the art of Grindhouse filmmaking. Good fun, good gore, great casting. Now, it’s not to say Rose McGowan, who acts in both “Planet Terror” and “Death Proof,” is the best actress, or even a really decent actress for that matter, but boy does she play her “Planet Terror” role well. I believe the whole point of Grindhouse films is their lack of “quality,” meaning the film itself isn’t supposed to be A-material. Or so that’s what I hear. So McGowan’s questionable acting skills work in her favor here. Like Piper Perabo in “Coyote Ugly.” However Freddy Rogriguez, the lead in “Planet Terror” is, in my opinion, actually talented. Who knew the little guy from “Six Feet Under” could pull off such a heroic badass role? Way to go Federico Diaz.

Now, I do not want to give any details away, so my review will end here. But take it from me, “Grindhouse” is….the shit.

PS I heard Rose McGowan was the impetus behind Robert Rodriguez and his now estranged wife’s separation. Therefore all theories of McGowan being somewhat of a home wrecker have been confirmed. Although, in everyone (except for Rodriguez’s ex-wife’s) defense, McGowan is insanely hot. I reckon that in the past year or two, the former “Charmed” cast mate has had a few nips and/or tucks performed, if you get my drift.

(I think she’s had some plastic surgery done.)

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Cheney, Cheney, Cheney. There are already rumors that you suck the blood from the homeless, that you have turned immortal by eating babies, that you’re actually The Penguin from Batman…

Don't Look In The BushesBut this?

WTF? There have been several theories thrown around of what’s happening in this picture. I agree that maybe he’s somehow controlling Bush, from his shrubbery. I think it has to do something with his laser eyes. He stares long enough and you submit to his will, and I’ve heard his evil eyes kills puppies and kittens too.

The moral of the story is that Cheney is inhuman, creepy, and probably going to somehow take over in 2008.

I bet Rove has something to do with this. That man is a genius. I’m going to bet that he wants to send the not-so-subtle message that Cheney could be anywhere, hiding in your local shrubbery, watching your every move. They’re so advanced! They don’t even need wiretaps! Cheney is slowly becoming uber-powerful with his ability to steal souls and control you with his laser eyes.

I just thought everyone should know. I mean we have it easier here in New York because there’s not a lot of underbrush for Cheney to hide in…but please be careful…you’ll never know when he’ll pop out and…shoot your face and eat your still beating heart.

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I believe I’ve figured it all out.

Every time Congress is investigating the current administration, there is a widespread attack of memory loss. They suddenly can’t remember talking to other staff members, emails they sent, letters given, meetings, etc. Alberto Gonzales can’t remember if he was involved with the firings of the attorneys, his assistant doesn’t remember talking to Rove, etc.

All you can do is take their word and move on. Thank goodness, I mean if they remembered, someone could challenge their honesty and then throw around words like “lies” and “perjury”. It would all just slow down these investigations.

Seriously, someone needs to step in. Find the best Doctors, because I believe there’s a health crisis going on. They must have a very potent virus running around the capitol, eating their memories. The sooner we can quarantine everyone and find a cure, the sooner we can find the answers that we need.

I wish them all a speedy recovery.

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