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Posts Tagged ‘Rose McGowan’

According to MSN Dating & Relating, the choices we make in pizza toppings determine not only our personality type, but also the personality type we’re best suited for. (Finally, a compatibility test I can actually get behind!) After reading through what’s what in the world of paramours and pizza, I decided this analysis is a great way to figure out whether or not you and your date/lover/stalkee are meant to be. See for yourself:

If your date orders one meat topping…
People who order just pepperoni or sausage on their pie are generally irritable, prone to procrastination, and they often “forget” obligations (like that weekend getaway he or she promised to take with you in the spring).
Compatible with: others who prefer one meat topping

If your date orders multiple meat toppings…
Real meat lovers who pile on the pepperoni, sausage, and ham tend to be dramatic, seductive, sweep-you-off-your-feet extroverts who thrive as the center of attention.
Compatible with: people who prefer one meat topping

If your date orders one veggie topping…
Those who prefer one vegetable topping are empathetic, easygoing romantics.
Compatible with: everybody!

If your date orders multiple veggies…
These dates are trustworthy, loyal, humble, and avoid the spotlight. In fact, they’re so quiet and conflict-averse they tend to be taken for granted in relationships.
Compatible with: people who prefer non-traditional toppings

If your date orders non-traditional toppings…
People who prefer offbeat options like pineapple or extra onions tend to be aggressive, ambitious, and competitive. In other words: Don’t expect a mellow relationship.
Compatible with: others who prefer non-traditional toppings

(some non-traditional pizza toppings)

In all seriousness though, I do have a question: what happens if you prefer more than just one of these choices? See, I do like a good “one meat” pizza, but I also really enjoy “multiple veggies” and “non-traditional” toppings, “non-traditional toppings” such as “offbeat” pineapple. And I’m not just saying this so I can avoid being categorized as having the “one meat topping” personality traits, since, I’m not even gonna deny that shit. But I’m also not going to deny my other (apparent) defining characteristics. You know, the ones that don’t make me out to be a lazy bitch. Whoever created this toppings breakdown should add in a few other options. It would improve its legitimacy/accuracy.

Also, I’m inclined to believe that cheese is still the #1 pizza pick, however this list does not provide that as a selection. I guess MSN Dating & Relating assumes that anyone who orders a plain pie is LAME. Too lame to partake in a totally un-lame soulmate match-up by MSN.com. Though, in their (MSN’s Dating & Relating’s) defense, cheese pizza is pretty weak.

So in conclusion, if you’re anything like me, you too are prone to procrastination, but also ambitious, but also irritable, but also conflict-averse. In other words, you (and I) are perfect. And if the only thing you ask for in a pizza is some shredded fromage, looks as though you have no personality at all. Thanks for clearing that up, MSN.

PS. I know, I’m so glad I was able to turn this into an entry that’s mostly about me, too.

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Several weeks ago, I unfairly admonished the New York Times for its use of “ginormous” – as in something that is really big – in an article. I would like to rescind my criticism, as the word “ginormous” is, as of today, an actual word.

Of course, it’s actually the Times’ fault that the word is real at all. According to the Associated Press, “Merriam-Webster editors have spotted [“ginormous”] in countless newspaper and magazine articles since 2000. That’s essentially the criterion for making it into the collegiate dictionary — if a word shows up often enough in mainstream writing, the editors consider defining it.”

For those keeping score at this point: New York Times: 1; English language: 0

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Chilling Realizations

This just in: Newsweek has posted an article about how dumb Americans are.

Yeah, yeah. I think the one thing we all definitively know is that we are, as a nation, borderline retarded.

While taking the poll myself (with the answers right below each question), I realized that I’m just as American (read: dumb) as the next guy. This was my favorite question:

newsweek-question.jpg

The reason “no” is highlighted is because it is the correct answer. Does this seem weird to anyone else? Is this a question that could logically have a “yes” or “no” answer? If it was, would “no” really be the correct answer?

It’s true that some people didn’t know the right answer to a lot of questions (for the record, SUVs definitely contribute to global warming). But more importantly – and I think this speaks more to the American way than sheer stupidity – we didn’t even try to answer a lot of questions. For most of the questions in the poll, “Don’t Know/Refused” was the first or second most selected answer. Well, at least we’re not cocky.

Thankfully, America got its comeuppance with the following questions:

newsweek-question2.jpg

Yeah, fuck you, Newsweek! That’s right! More Americans know who Jane Austen is than Jordin Sparks. Though not me, admittedly. Again, though, these questions illustrate our preference for admitting our ignorance openly (48% and 78% respectively just didn’t know).

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Take Your Child to Work.

Johnbaptisedme: Today is take your child to work day.
Recklesley: Yeah?
Johnbaptisedme: Yeah. Did you bring your kid in?
Recklesley: I’ve got too many. It would be a hassle.
Johnbaptisedme: That’s true. Especially since most of them are inbred.
Recklesley: The ones with cats for faces tend to freak people out.
Johnbaptisedme: And the ones with extra limbs.
Recklesley: Yeah. But I find baggy sweatshirts really help with that.
Johnbaptisedme: You would.

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Grindhouse + BAM = Very Hot.

Last Friday evening, 4/6/07, Team Brooklyn Skeptic & Friends screened the Rodriguez/Tarantino double feature “Grindhouse” at the Brooklyn Academy of Music, aka BAM. Aka, the best joint stage/movie theater in town. BAM’s presented stadium seating is fit for a King. Or I guess a more suitable comparison would be, it is fit for a really short person. Like, really short. Like a baby.

I would suggest going to BAM for your movie viewing pleasures, not just for the stadium seating but because watching films at a performing arts arena makes one seem/feel more cultured. This is true. Do not deny. And if you’re anything like me, you could use all the culture points you can get. Which, judging by the fact that you’re reading this right now, you probably do….need those culture points.

Moving along, let’s discuss “Grindhouse” and its awesomeness, shall we? We shall. Both Robert Rodriguez’s “Planet Terror” and Quentin Tarantino’s “Death Proof” are total achievements in the art of Grindhouse filmmaking. Good fun, good gore, great casting. Now, it’s not to say Rose McGowan, who acts in both “Planet Terror” and “Death Proof,” is the best actress, or even a really decent actress for that matter, but boy does she play her “Planet Terror” role well. I believe the whole point of Grindhouse films is their lack of “quality,” meaning the film itself isn’t supposed to be A-material. Or so that’s what I hear. So McGowan’s questionable acting skills work in her favor here. Like Piper Perabo in “Coyote Ugly.” However Freddy Rogriguez, the lead in “Planet Terror” is, in my opinion, actually talented. Who knew the little guy from “Six Feet Under” could pull off such a heroic badass role? Way to go Federico Diaz.

Now, I do not want to give any details away, so my review will end here. But take it from me, “Grindhouse” is….the shit.

PS I heard Rose McGowan was the impetus behind Robert Rodriguez and his now estranged wife’s separation. Therefore all theories of McGowan being somewhat of a home wrecker have been confirmed. Although, in everyone (except for Rodriguez’s ex-wife’s) defense, McGowan is insanely hot. I reckon that in the past year or two, the former “Charmed” cast mate has had a few nips and/or tucks performed, if you get my drift.

(I think she’s had some plastic surgery done.)

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