Posts Tagged ‘Pwned’

Regarding oneiroi’s recent post about Congress stepping aside and letting Bush quietly ream our democracy: MoveOn.org has created a petition that you can read and sign here. Go on record saying, “I’m outraged that Congress capitulated to President Bush and gave him more unchecked power to wiretap Americans without a warrant. I demand Congress act swiftly to reverse this reckless act.”

Because, seriously. Why the fuck did we elect democrats if this is what they’re doing with their time?

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After winning 8 out of their previous 10 games, the mets went to Denver on Monday to face the outcast Kazuo Matsui and his fellow Colorado Rockies. It is with great sadness that I now report, over the course of the three-game series, the Mets (like the Yankees a few weeks before), were SWEPT by the Rockies. Moreover, the total runs scored in the series favored the Rockies by a whopping 34-12. Yesterday they won 17-7. Yikes.

oy vey.

As you might have noticed (just now, while you were reading the previous sentence) the Mets did score 7 runs yesterday. This is usually enough to win a game. When you score 7 runs and lose, it’s because your pitching is terrible. That understood, it’s time to brace our-Mets loving-selves for a rough few weeks ahead.

The pitching staff the Mets have been relying on for August and September, when the games really start to count, is as follows: Tom Glavine, Orlando “El Duque” Hernandez, John Maine, Oliver Perez and Pedro Martinez. As we all know, Pedro has not pitched at all this season, after not pitching (well) all of last season due to a bum shoulder that he finally had surgery on last summer. In his place, Pedro has been ably replaced by the surprisingly consistent Jorge Sosa.

In the past week, however, any consistency the Mets hoped to rely on has been swept out from under our feet, as both Sosa and Perez have joined Pedro on the Disabled List, being replaced by the woeful Mike Pelfrey and Jason Vargas. Moreover, Glavine (41) and El Duque (listed as 36, but actually 42), have really been showing their age lately.

So with two old goats and two crying babies surrounding him in the rotation, who is John Maine to turn to for help? The Mets resident sour-puss (and Brooklyn’s Skeptic’s favorite badboy) Paul “Bazooka” LoDuca, shared his thoughts after Sunday’s loss…

“It was a helpless feeling this weekend. We couldn’t do anything to stop them. We could have had Jesus on the mound and they still would have gotten hits.”

He CAN help you hit curveball...

Maybe so, Paul…but at times like this, it couldn’t hurt to put him out there and give him a chance.

So Jesus, if you’re reading this…Willie Randolph wants you to start warming up in the bullpen. I know President David Palmer said you couldn’t help him hit curveball, but that was years ago…get over it…we really could use your help.

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I will admit my interest in politics, especially here on the blog, is not based on the need to know what’s going on in my government. Basically it’s just reveling in the soap-opera of it all.

And luckily Alberto Gonzales keeps on giving. The best part of his hearing on Thursday was his terse exchange with Senator Specter. These two guys are roughly on the same team, and so Gonazales thought this would be a great time to just let his annoying-ness shine. Read more for my in depth analysis of Gonzales in his finest hour:


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I believe I’ve figured it all out.

Every time Congress is investigating the current administration, there is a widespread attack of memory loss. They suddenly can’t remember talking to other staff members, emails they sent, letters given, meetings, etc. Alberto Gonzales can’t remember if he was involved with the firings of the attorneys, his assistant doesn’t remember talking to Rove, etc.

All you can do is take their word and move on. Thank goodness, I mean if they remembered, someone could challenge their honesty and then throw around words like “lies” and “perjury”. It would all just slow down these investigations.

Seriously, someone needs to step in. Find the best Doctors, becauseĀ I believe there’s a health crisis going on. They must have a very potent virus running around the capitol, eating their memories. The sooner we can quarantine everyone and find a cure, the sooner we can find the answers that we need.

I wish them all a speedy recovery.

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This is technically called Drowning In Republican Tears #3, but really I think this is just everyone else’s tears.

GonzyFrom the man who denies the existence of Habeas Corpus, and stood up against Defense Secretary Robert Gates for wanting to shut down Guantanamo, I bring you Alberto Gonzales! (more…)

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