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Posts Tagged ‘Pope’

My closest friends know me as a Trapped in the Closet enthusiast (as they are as well). The last few days have been a veritable cornucopia of excruciatingly repetitive, plot twisting music videos as R. Kelly is in the process of releasing the next dozen chapters of his opus on ifc.com. By now, he’s essentially lost the song structure and the basic narrative continuity. Nevertheless, it’s so fucking awesome it will make your brains shoot out your ears with joy. Below is my favorite chapter from the new batch so far, but you definitely need to watch all of them in order and let the crazy wash over you and heal your tired mind.

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After scrolling past the NYT piece titled “Why didn’t the JFK Plot Make the Front Page?” I came upon a tantilizing item called “Man Tries to Jump Into Popemobile.”

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Papacy rolls this deep.

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How can I be a cowboy and a Nazi Youth?

But don’t worry, Benedicty is OK. NY Times reports that the man, wearing a pink t-shirt, did not want to hurt the Pope but only wanted to draw attention to himself. And Ratzy kept on keepin on.

From his perch on the jeep, the pope waves and blesses the crowd, and occasionally will bless a baby handed up to him by a security guard.

But really, who wouldn’t feel safe when you’re guarded by this guy?

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Zee swees gaard iz zo tuff.

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R. Kelly Loves Himself

“My greatest competition is, well, me . . . I’m the Ali of today. I’m the Marvin Gaye of today. I’m the Bob Marley of today. I’m the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now.”

R. Kelly tells the new issue of Hip-Hop Soul magazine

Bold statement, Kelly. And sort of, not true. As memorable of a song “Bump N Grind” maybe, I’m not sure I would call Kelly the “Marvin Gaye of today.” Even though it’s quite clear both “Bump N Grind” and “Sexual Healing” share a similar message. And while Kelly did pioneer the homemade sex video act with minors for the new millennium, I’m not positive that upholds an equal comparison to Martin Luther King. Rob Lowe perhaps, but not Mr. King.

But I guess if R. Kelly’s “greatest competition is, well,” himself, he probably doesn’t have too much to worry about, outside from a few sexual allegation charges and a restraining order against him by his former girlfriend.

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