Posts Tagged ‘Park Slope’

Jesus Christ, Park Slope! Where have you been hiding? Every person in Brooklyn attended last night’s opening show of the Celebrate Brooklyn series.  Apparently everyone digs David Byrne. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads – they all adore him. They think he’s a righteous dude.

Brooklyn Skeptic had a few representatives there, although we didn’t want to pay the $3 recommended donation or wait in the ridiculous line. So instead, we sat outside the designated rocking area and drank Coors Light tallboys. Because we’re classy. It was all fun and games until he started playing Once In A Lifetime, at which point everyone pushed forward and Brooklyn Skeptic got trampled to death.

Note: In the below picture, recklesley managed to capture the crowd, as well as that cute redhead that was sitting in front of us. Well done reckles.

How Did We All Get Here?

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Okay, so we haven’t been posting much recently. It’s true you guys. But we have our reasons. Recklesley is butt deep in schoolwork, Pizappas moved to Poughkeepsie, Oneiroi died in a tragic badminton accident, Johnbaptiseme joined a cult and now only communicates through whistles, Bearclaws killed Oneiroi with a shuttlecock and is doing two consecutive life sentences, etc. You know, there’s shit going on.

But it’s summer again, and it’s time to put all of this behind us. Why? Because it’s sunny outside. And it’s almost May. And some fun, free outdoor events are already being planned in the Brooklyn area. Like, for example, the Celebrate Brooklyn concert series which takes place each summer in Prospect Park. This year, the line-up features David Byrne, MGMT (somehow already sold out), They Might Be Giants, Animal Collective, Jackson Browne, Dr. Dog, and more. So…that’s pretty awesome.

And speaking of awesome, the Brooklyn Bridge Park series has already listed their line-up too! For their tenth anniversary, they are going to be screening a great bunch of movies outside in DUMBO, including Raising Arizona, Paper Moon and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

So there’s some fun things to get excited about. Moving on we’re going to try and update the blog more often with fun events, bar and restaurant reviews and every little thing that pops into our heads. In the meantime, enjoy the nice weather and if you need to play badminton, for G-d’s sake, wear a helmet.

Last Picture Taken of Oneiroi

Last Picture Taken of Oneiroi

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It’s been hard to avoid hearing about Park Slope in the news recently. The New York Times printed an article in the weekend Style section that addressed some of the neighborhood ire. Between a Sex and the City-style television show that is set to take place in Park Slope to a group of “stroller nazis” (i.e. women who have children and choose to push them in strollers all in the name of the Third Reich) trying to shut down local bar Union Hall, there’s a lot to talk about. The thing is, none of it is very interesting. In fact, it bores this shit out of me. Wait a minute, Park Slope has been yuppified? Get the fuck out of here (and by here I mean this small, overpriced Park Slope boutique)! What tipped you off, genius?

Anyway, I don’t really want to get into it, because Lord knows there have been enough articles and comments about the subject. But as a young man in his mid-twenties who has no children, is not a coop member (and thus has never missed a shift or been on probation) and has not been pushed in a stroller in the past twenty years, here are three things that I like a lot about Park Slope.

  1. There are more old man bars than you can throw an orthotic insoled shoe at. Off the top of my head, I can think of Farrell’s, O’Connors, Old Carriage Inn and of course Jackie’s Fifth Amendment, all of which have enough stories and old man musk to last me until I’m sitting on one of their bar-stools talking about World War 4 and when I was forced to vote for President Chelsea Clinton.
  2. Park Slope teens are bad ass. While they can be pretty intimidating, they’re also incredibly impressive, and seem to run in packs like wild dogs. These kids will get shit done when they’re older. And by “shit” I mean more than just chain-smoking outside of Tea Lounge.
  3. Park Slope is the perfect place to spend a hungover Sunday. There are a ridiculous amount of diners to eat away your headache, a massive park with endless green grass to sit in as you contemplate how you’re failing at life, movie theaters all around to sit in darkness and watch better looking people make life decisions so you don’t have to and, most importantly, a great collection of bars, delis and wine stores to have another drink on a Sunday evening while you forget that you have to be at work the next morning and that you’ve been late every day for the past week and that maybe your horoscope was right and you really are going to need to make some drastic changes in your life.

Anyway, there you go. Park Slope can be annoying, stuck-up, snobby and overpriced, but so can Williamsburg, Brooklyn Heights, Carroll Gardens, Cobble Hill, Prospect Heights and many other Brooklyn neighborhoods. Stop complaining about it, or the Park Slope teenagers will put their cigarettes out on your face.


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Welcome to Brooklyn Skeptic’s newest (god-willing) weekly photoblogging extravaganza.

Kentile Floors Sign from 9th Street – Gowanus

Right now we are tentatively calling this “Brooklyn Skep-Pics”. Now I say tentatively because I’m open to ideas and because I worry about misleading droves of the good natured “skep” enthusiasts in Brooklyn. There’s a group of people you don’t want angry at you. If you are a lost and confused honey bee fan, please click here to be redirected.

For those of who have stuck around, let us know if you have any name suggestions and please feel free to shower my pictures with compliments.

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Sometimes, I’m feeling lazy. Other times, other people have done such a good job of researching neat things that you have to just let the work speak for itself and not dilute it with your weighty irony and sharp snarkiness. In the spirit of that, I bring you some work that other people did. Not me. Not anyone I know.

Gothamist’s “Let Me Drink Next To Your Fire”: A quick run-down of your New York fireplace accessible bars. We checked out Daddy’s from this list this week and it was awesome. Great Hot Toddys. Also, we’ve all been to Union Hall. That’s why you can’t even get in the place on a weekend. Nice for happy hour though…

Gridskipper’s “Fast Times on Fifth Avenue”: Because I literally and figuratively live on Park Slope’s Fifth Avenue, this hit home for me (again, both literally and figuratively). While I would say the list only skims the wonderous possibilities of nice things on the street, I liked it anyway. But really, once you’ve done those things, check out some of my faves: Press 195, Something Else on 5th, Grt Lks, Bonnies, Gorilla, Rachel’s, Perch, Southpaw, Beacon’s Closet, Buttermilk, O’Connors, and that insanely twee store that Pizappas loves.

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