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Posts Tagged ‘New York Magazine’

I am a big fan of many of NY Mag’s online features… they help me find things like restaurants, stores, and things that I should or should not approve of.

I just tried out one of their newer features, the Shop-o-Matic. Right away, I like that it sounds like a Dr. Seuss invention, if Dr. Seuss were motivated by capitalism rather than love and friendship.

So since NY Mag is (thankfully) motivated by capitalism and that urge to spendspendspend!! their Shop-o-Matic provides us the opportunity to ogle this season’s exciting designs without leaving the comfort of our (my) home (cubicle).

You can view 114 women’s coats as a slideshow, and what I didn’t realize at first is that the price goes from low to high. So at the beginning I’m saying hey, I didn’t know Target had such a good looking coat for $90….

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And then with each successive click I’m saying huh.. I wish I had $325 to spend on this coat….

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And then is starts getting into the realm of things where it’s the coats that don’t even have price tags on them in the store, because blah blah blah if you have to ask then you can’t afford it.

And you know what? I learned a valuable lesson. I learned that sometimes clothes, like people, are ugly no matter how much money they are worth.

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$2,895 will get you the sleeves to end all sleeves.

 

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$16,800 will get you Oscar de la Renta’s grandma’s coat.

So, thank you NY Mag for reminding me that though I am still alternating between my $35 Old Navy jacket from 2004 and my dad’s old down vest with a snap missing and the fluff coming out, I am still looking better than some crazy lady in a chinchila-lined coat.

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Perhaps inspired by plainclothesman‘s recent references, NY Mag offers us an ethnographical study of 2 Coreys.  Like dream a little dream, it’s somewhat confusing but well worth your time.

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I heard lots about David Bowie’s High Line festival, certainly. But I didn’t actually know what High Line is – where the money from the hip, hot, exciting events was going.

The High Line is a 1.5 mile elevated railway that runs along the West Side of Manhattan.

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Isn’t it pretty?

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It will be made into a public park.

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I’d like to see it for myself.

Here’s a map of where it actually lies in Manhattan.

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“The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can’t do…For example, I can let you drown, but I can’t bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?”

The immortal words quoted above were uttered by all of our favorite pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow, in all of our favorite pirate movie, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, a.k.a. Pirates 1. In this scene, Captain Jack is trying to explain to Will Turner, nascent pirate, the essential truth of piratehood: you can only trust a pirate to do what’s in his own best interest in the moment without regard to promises, alliances, or interpersonal relationships.

Like me, some of you may have watched Pirates 3 this weekend. Also like me, some others may have read a few reviews about the film. Many of the reviews I read (I only read one) pointed to a real shitshow of conflicting plot lines which made the movie virtually impenetrable for the mind of a grown person. I totally agree with this claim, but I still think this was the best of the three Pirates movies. I think the real problem is the general public’s inability to deal with the intricacies of pirate culture.

At World’s End featured more alliance-switching than a bunch of gypsies playing Risk. There were three or four general sides – two competing pirate factions, the Navy and then an occasional personal grouping (like lovers, or people trying to lift curses, etc.). So that’s already kind of confusing. As the story progresses, the pirate factions join and separate, individuals make pacts with the Navy or another pirates, and then all of those promises are repeatedly broken, repaired and then rended again. It’s zany!

But this is not a symptom of poor story telling. It is simply art imitating pirate life. As I mentioned earlier, a pirate can only ensure acting in his own best interest. There’s nothing you can do about it. It’s just how pirates are. And clearly the pirate scholars who wrote this movie, or at least provided consulting services, were trying to express this cultural phenomenon. And if it confused you, well, I guess that just makes you a bad pirate.

Savvy?

Pirates trying to out-pirate each other.

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New York Magazine can be counted on to cover the hard-hitting issues that affect New Yorkers most deeply. This week, in the Sex and Love issue, the magazine went the extra mile to discover how incredibly nasty New Yorkers are. There was an article about the politics of MILFhood, another about hipsters talking about their bedroom steez, and, my favorite, The Sex Diaries, wherein “regular” New Yorkers write down every sexual encounter or thought they have in one week. No wonder 40,000 people in New York have Chlamydia. I think most of those cases were personally distributed by the people profiled this week.

For the sake of full disclosure, I am of the opinion that too much sex leads to insanity, baldness, hairy palms, stuttering and dirty sheets. But I’m willing to concede that an enormous amount of fucking can be a healthy part of a balanced lifestyle. You know, just not my lifestyle. Or the lifestyle of anyone I know. And if I did know people who did what these people do, I would probably need to don a glove to shake their hands. I’m like, since when did “polyamorous” become a familiar adjective? It’s not even in my spellcheck.

So I thought I would just throw my sex diary out there. So everyone else would feel better about theirs.

The Cynical Blogger: female, 23, proletarian, Park Slope, single.

Saturday: Team of five male friends surrounded me at all times, preventing all possibility of a hook up.
Sunday: Nothing.
Monday: Watched Mets game.
Tuesday: Nothing.
Wednesday: Got groped on the subway.
Thursday: Played bocce with a very hot man, who may or may not have been part of the Aryan Underground Bocce League.
Friday: Nothing.

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