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Posts Tagged ‘Myspace’

No, not the semi-underground sport roommate hunting. I’m referring to the kind of roommate hunt that involves posting an open room in your apartment on Craigslist and seeing what kind of scaries come out to ingratiate themselves and borrow into your living quarters. Here are some thoughts should any of you decide to embark on a similar journey.

1. Craigslist trollers have their responses down to a science. Within 24 hours of posting my ad, I had over 100 well-crafted life stories packed into my inbox. Many of them extolled my ad-writing skills, saying that I had awakened them from the dreary haze of reading apartment listings. Let me assure you that my ad was neither amusing nor outstanding. It may differ only in the lack of spelling errors. Either way, nearly all of the responses were identical because apparently every young woman in New York is exactly the same. I suppose I knew that already.

2. Might I suggest inviting an extremely judgemental friend to supervise your interactions with potential roommates and then offer scathing criticism when they leave? Because it’s very helpful. Thanks, johnbaptisedme.

3. Young women apartment seachers in New York can tend towards the overzealous. Maybe don’t pick the one who called you five times within 12 hours of meeting her. Because she’s crazy.

4. No one will tell you to your face that they are not interested in the apartment. One girl (who showed up a half hour late for her appointment with nary a phone call or apology) walked through the apartment, asked one question and then said, “well, I’m going to head out.” I asked her if she was interested in the place at all – she most certainly wasn’t – and if I should call her when I’ve made a decision. She said I should. Um, why not just say you’re not interested, weird girl with a Blackberry in one hand and a Razr in the other? Your existence annoys me.

5. If at all possible, don’t wait until the end of the month to look for a roommate. Because everyone who is looking to move immediately is coming from a crisis situation. And anyone who finds themselves in a residence-related crisis is probably not going to be an ideal roommate.

6. Myspace and Facebook are your friends. Don’t feel bad about doing a little surreptitious background check on your candidates. They say a picture is worth a thousand words…especially if that picture is your potential roommate soul-kissing a bottle of Rolling Rock and grinding with her sorority sisters in a mid-western sports bar. And they’re all wearing WWJD bracelets and hotpants.

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One morning, about a week ago, as I was lying in bed wondering which I hated more, waking up at 7:00am or getting punched in the face, I listened to NPR discuss Facebook’s newest plans to restructure its site. Thought provoking. Facebook already wants another “Face”lift? Didn’t they add all those creepy mini-feed features not too long ago? Craze.

Anyway, apparently Facebook wants to overthrow Myspace, whose client count currently surpasses Facebook’s by three times. I’m not surprised. I can’t imagine anyone who wasn’t a college student when Facebook came into existence would have a profile. I mean, Facebook is clearly directed towards the youngsters. With the option of listing one’s current course list and residence hall, it’s pretty obvious the people who would be most attracted to this site are students. (And me, apparently.)

But also, Myspace makes it easier for pedophiles to make up fake (or real) profiles and lure innocent pre-teens into dangerous relationships than Face does. That right there probably ups Myspace’s popularity by like, 27%. Granted a 40-year old with an internet profile on this type of online social network would be questionable in any situation, but with Myspace’s growing popularity amongst D-list celebrities, bands, clothing lines, old hipsters, etc. it’s somewhat understandable to see a middle aged man with 3 pages of candid photographs of himself. To a certain extent, anyway. However, if I ever saw an older-ish man (or woman) on F-book, I wouldn’t think twice about that person either being a parent who’s checking up on their kid, or a dangerous human being with stalker-like tendencies.

Lastly, Facebook has more restrictions in terms of who can see your profile and who cannot. Each profile is connected to a network and can only be viewed by those belonging to that same network. Get it? Meaning, if I find the profile of a person I went to high school with but did not attend the same university or currently live in a different town as he or she, said’s profile is restricted. This makes it very hard to judge people from the past (former classmates, arch nemeses, etc.). It is very inconvenient. How is a person supposed to silently criticize folks if all they have to go by is a 1×1 inch photo? It’s incredibly difficult. Although, occasionally the picture, as they say, speaks for itself. But that’s pretty rare. And even though Myspace practices an “all or nothing” rule in regards to who is allowed to view your list of favorite movies, tv shows, and recent interests, at least they grant the option of exposing your internet persona to the free world.

Now, I’m not saying one site is better than the other, but I am saying Facebook is going to have to revamp its layout quite a bit if they want to seem less student oriented, and more open towards sexual predators.

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The first breaths of spring are blowing through the borough. The potholes are blossoming. The whales are washing up on the sunny banks of the Gowanus. Romance is abloom in Brooklyn.

We all know how hard it can be to find love in this crazy, mixed-up world and it can be even harder in New York, where most people are either models or investment bankers. You can try to dull the horrible pangs of loneliness by excessive drinking, joining bar sports leagues or going to work, but it’s not like we all have the money, skills, or employment necessary for that.

What do we have? Craig’s List: a surging river of earnest, if socially retarded men and women looking to catch a Mets game and then maybe hump. So in an effort to start spring off with a bang, I offer my favorite display of desperation of the day: “Last Minute Plans.”

Sadly, I may have to take this guy up on his offer because I just found my husband’s post.

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Brooklyn Skeptic has joined the ranks of such notable visionaries as Barack Obama, Christina Aguilera, Admiral Adama, Tila Tequila, and John McCain. We’re on Myspace like you wouldn’t believe.

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Myspace could not have asked me a more appropriate question this morning as I hastily added four presidential candidates to my extremely exclusive friends list. Sometimes politicians have a hard time recognizing the difference between irony and genuine support. So I didn’t add Mitt Romney. If I did, I’m pretty sure that would legally bind us in holy matrimony. I’m not really ready to settle down, Mitt. And I can’t share you with my sister-wives.

So, let me introduce you to my new friends:

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Like peas in the pod of my “Top 8”

 

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