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Posts Tagged ‘Jimmy Kimmel’

Marilyn Manson, 38, has just announced that he is adopting 19 year old, Evan Rachel Wood. And by adopting, I mean they’re dating. Grossness. I do not understand. What is the Manson appeal? Does he not wear white face makeup with smeared turquoise eye shadow, with a pair of mismatched color contacts? Oh wait, that’s exactly what he wears.

Fine couple, these two make. Fine couple indeed.

I am ‘turbed by this. In 2003 Evan Rachel Wood, for those of you who don’t know, was in a film called “Thirteen.” In this film, Wood was cast as a thirteen year old because….she was a thirteen year old. Or, I suppose possibly fourteen at the time of filming. Either way, a young one she was. And this film, “Thirteen,” is what catapulted Wood’s career. (Although, in my book ABC’s “Once and Again” is what really placed Wood on the Hollywood map. Mischa Barton too, for that matter. These two played same sex 8th grade lovers on the show. It was groundbreaking. You probably think I’m joking, but I am being so dead serious, it’s not even funny.) Anyway, my point is that Marilyn Manson is dating a girl whose most notable film is called, “Thirteen.” Not because thirteen was her lucky number, or because the film centers around Friday the 13th, but because the movie’s focus is a thirteen year old girl. Now, had “Thirteen” been made in 1903, rather than 2003, then yes, perhaps this would all make a little more sense. As I’m sure we’d all be a little less shocked had Manson decided to move onto dating corpses rather than actual humans. But this is not the case. Wood is a normal (looking) blonde, and Manson dresses like the anti-christ. Crazy relationship.

Manson quote: “I’ve found my double, my twin, with my new girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood,” Manson tells France’s Le Parisien newspaper. “She’s l9 and certainly that’s very young,” he added, “but that’s not a problem for me. She likes the same things as me. She understands I like to get up when night falls and go to sleep at dawn.”

Someone should tell Marilyn sleeping in until dusk is a tell-tale sign of depression. They should also let him know he probably shouldn’t be dating someone who is (literally) half his age. Although, I think that’s what Manson’s all about, disregarding the public’s opinion of him, and having people think he’s Josh Saviano from the “Wonder Years.”

Therefore, nothing can be done about these two.

So, let us sit back and judge this new, weird couple. But if we’re judging these two, we should probably be judging all May-December relationships:

Brian Austin Green (33) & Megan Fox (19)– They’re engaged. Although, in his defense, Green still looks about 25. And, is probably just as dumb as his 19 year old fiance.

That’s actually the only relationship I can think of right now, good thing it’s such an amazing one.

Now, as an ending note, I would like to address the fact that M. Manson is actually very intelligent. In interviews he is incredibly articulate, down to earth, and engaging. However, that does not excuse the fact that he looks as though he belongs in a satanic cult. And is dating a 19 year old.

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Reck: Watched some “Degrassi.”
Johnbme: That’s good.
Johnbme: They air that show on the N network. That and “My So-Called Life.”
Johnbme: But I hate both Claire Danes and Jared Leto now. Ruins it.
Johnbme: I’m forced to root for Brian Krakow.
Reck: I love Krakow.
Johnbme: Of course you do. I, like most 13 year olds, hated him. He had no backbone.
Reck: I love him.
Johnbme: He would do anything for Angela even though she’d use him…all the time.
Johnbme: Like when she took his bike.
***
Johnbme: But too bad Jared Leto is like the biggest douche now.
Reck: Is he?
Johnbme: Talking to you is like talking to an alien.

Are there still people, aside from Recklesley, who don’t know the god awful human being Jared Leto has become? Although, this a-hole side of Jared may not be new, actually. I remember reading a “Details” interview with J-Leto when I was in 6th grade, and feeling let down by the fact that he was not exactly like Jordan Catalano. In that, he wasn’t illiterate, and didn’t write songs about his car, Red. But also because he seemed like a jerk. Yeah, I said it, a jerk. He exuded extreme pompousness, which must’ve been pretty present if I could pick up on it when I was 12, and he also stated that his biggest nightmare was to appear on “The Jay Leno Show.” Lame. And while he still hasn’t been a guest on the Tonight Show, he’s appeared on “Late Night with Carson Daly” not once, but twice. (To all celebrities: If you say something in an interview, and I read this interview, I will remember it. And I will call you out on your boldface hypocrisy…in this blog. Which you will definitely read.)

Speaking of Carson Daly, have you seen him lately? I’m worried.

Anyway, back to Jared, I’d like to discuss his recent transformation from quasi-normal, sort of jerkface, hottie-hot-hot…to weird, goth, ass.

Here is old Jared.

Here is new Jared.

Here is fat Jared.

He’s not fat anymore. He gained that weight for a role. But isn’t that weird? He looks like a different person. Anyway, as you can see, Jared has changed from his 1995 self. But I suppose we all have. However, I feel as though most of us, humans, have with the years become better people. But judging by this article, involving Leto’s uncontrollable temper, Elijah Wood, and some strangling, it’s clear Jared L. has only regressed back to a childlike behavior of physical violence, and whining.

Another example of Leto’s gross behavior– a recent quote from Jimmy Kimmel:
“[Jared Leto] was so insufferably satisfied with himself that I wanted to strangle him.”

– Talk show host and funnyman Jimmy Kimmel tells Stuff magazine, when asked if he ever had to hide his disdain for a guest.

I, coincidentally, caught this episode of Jimmy Kimmel. You should try to watch it on youtube, if it hasn’t already been taken down. At least try to see Leto’s “band,” 30 Seconds to Mars perform. It’s great. At one point Leto reaches out the microphone into the crowd, assuming audience members have memorized the lyrics to his song. I think the song was titled, “I Love Myself.” I suppose there may have been a few people who participated in the impromptu 30 Seconds to Mars Bars karaoke. But I can only assume they were either die-hard MSCL fans, or the type of people who can watch “Requiem for a Dream” more than once.

So, there it is. The top however many reasons on why Jared Leto is the worst. Hope you enjoyed this useless entry.

PS Here is the new Claire Danes Gap commercial. Just one of the many reasons why she is my most hated actress.

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