A Peek Behind the Magic: Brooklyn Skeptic Editorial Meeting re: Halloween

Recklesley: uh, ghosts? pirates? candy
come on people

me: yeah. pirates cost money.
they’re used to whole treasure chests of gold dublooms
dabloons?
dablouns?
dud-boons?

Recklesley: what the ef are you talking about?

me: that word
that means gold coins

Recklesley: what kind of pirate are you?

me: that sounds like all those words i just typed
what is that word?

Recklesley: i have no idea

me: ok
well, to answer your question, i’m a fucking righteous pirate

Recklesley: i think you’re filled with lies and deceit

me: like a pirate

Recklesley: yar

me: YARRRR
what if i totally lost my shit and came to work dressed like a pirate?

that might make me feel better

Recklesley: that would be totally fine i think
really get your point across
regarding swashbuckling

me: MEMO
to: all staff
from: longbeard pizappas

RE: swashbuckling

text: YARRR, motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!!

Recklesley: that seems to make a clear point

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Oh Congress, You Disappoint Me

Regarding oneiroi’s recent post about Congress stepping aside and letting Bush quietly ream our democracy: MoveOn.org has created a petition that you can read and sign here. Go on record saying, “I’m outraged that Congress capitulated to President Bush and gave him more unchecked power to wiretap Americans without a warrant. I demand Congress act swiftly to reverse this reckless act.”

Because, seriously. Why the fuck did we elect democrats if this is what they’re doing with their time?

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Oversight or Overrated?

When the Republicans lost their iron grip on all 3 branches of government, losing to the Democrats in both in the House and the Senate, many people sat around trying to figure out why. Was it the Iraq War? The fun & exciting sex scandals? The government’s role in warantless wiretapping, “torture”, and other dubious actions?

Congress took on the mission to prove themselves worthy of the seats they sat in, and started putting pressure against the war, promised to clean up the scandals, and started inquiring about some of those questionable activities. They put Gonzales on the stand and grilled him on the legality and constitutionality of things like the warrantless wiretapping. Congress expressed concern about how the Bush administration was administering a secretive program to wiretap people phones without oversight, as established by the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act.

These concerns were not really about the existence of the wiretapping, which has always happened, just that they’re not being approved by the proper authorities. The fact that they’ve gone this far to avoid judicial oversight is troubling, because the process was a breeze anyways. The court is already held secret from the public, and there can even be surveillance without a warrant as long as its reported within 72 hours. There is no delay to worry about. Even
then, from the program’s inception in 1978 at least until 2005, there have been four rejections out of 20,806 approved warrant requests. That’s .019% of all requests that were outright rejected.

In response to this concern over the legality of the program, the Democrat controlled congress approved of Bush’s ability to conduct these wiretaps without even this small piece of oversight. And even goes so far as to make it easier to get information from telephone companies, who before had occasionally resisted!

So…good job Democrats!

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Interpretation on The Alberto Gonzales Hearing

I will admit my interest in politics, especially here on the blog, is not based on the need to know what’s going on in my government. Basically it’s just reveling in the soap-opera of it all.

And luckily Alberto Gonzales keeps on giving. The best part of his hearing on Thursday was his terse exchange with Senator Specter. These two guys are roughly on the same team, and so Gonazales thought this would be a great time to just let his annoying-ness shine. Read more for my in depth analysis of Gonzales in his finest hour:

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Bar Graph

In order to avoid misunderstandings among friends, I recently went back to Royale to perform some scientific inquiry on its ass. In a previous post, I had professed its awesomeness – with due qualifications – and was brutally shut down. Admittedly, I had visited the bar on the worst possible time to go out in New York, Saturday night. This time, I went to Happy Hour – the best light in which to see a drinking establishment – with the express purpose of collecting numerical data, which I would like to share with you.

The basic assertion that I am challenging is that Welcome to the Johnson’s has the best Happy Hour in the five boroughs of New York City. On a ten point scale, I hearby prove that Royale is a strong contender, if not the unquestionable winner. Please find definitions and measurements below the chart.

DP: Drink Price
As a percentage of hourly pay

DFW: Distance from Work
As a percentage of an hour

C: Crowdedness
As a percentage of the total seats filled in the bar

S: Smell
As a percentage of stink molecules in the air

MV: Music volume
100% = the volume of regular human conversation

AoB: Adorableness of Bartender
As a percentage of ooogie-smoogie-boogums

PoB: Personableness of Bartender
As a percentage of time filled with witty banter

K: Kitchiness
As a percentage of ridiculous things in the bar, like Jenga or family photographs

BS: Bathroom Scariness
As a percentage of bathroom-related nightmares following the drinking session during regular sleeping hours (normally about 13%)

F: Formalness
As a percentage of men present wearing non-ironic ties

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Happy Hour: Abilene

There is a certain time of year when 50 degrees seems pleasant and weak afternoon sunlight streaming through your lager reminds you of laying out by the pool with a daiquiri. As the weather becomes less ferocious, we’re all looking for one thing: outdoor happy hour.

Yesterday, we hit up Abilene on Court Street, between 2nd and 3rd Place. I don’t know what this neighborhood is called because I believe anything west of the Gowanus is the nexus of the universe. The bar has several tables outside, which leaves ample doggie-petting opportunities while you’re shivering in the anemic sunshine. Once hypothermia set in, we moved inside where the gigantic street-level windows gave us the feeling that we were still outside, but without the crippling chill.

The photograph above is an example of this bar’s bathroom graffiti. It offers a pretty good picture of the clientele at this particular establishment. Nerds. It is reason enough to check this place out.

Abilene
442 Court Street
F or G to Carroll
Brooklyn, NY

$3 beers and well drinks until 8pm! Board games and NYC Condoms available at the bar!

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