Posts Tagged ‘Gossip Girl’

In case some of you people don’t read one of the ten thousand blogs that review “Gossip Girl” on a weekly basis, I’m going to give you a rundown of what’s been going on. I want you all to be caught up to speed so you can fully enjoy tonight’s episode. Because you all should watch “Gossip Girl.” Each and every one of you. Even you boys.

Very quickly:

Serena – Main character. Blonde, beautiful, left NY mysteriously for one year but is back. Used to be a party girl.
Blair – Used to be BFForevs with Serena. Obvs is the less desirable of the duo since she is a brunette. Has secretly always been jealous of Serena, and for good reason.
Nate – Blair’s boyfriend. Is a tool. Slept with Serena before she left. Is the reason why Blair hates Serena.
Dan – Good guy. Is not rich. Likes Serena.
Chuck – Evil and insanely rich. Is the most ridiculous human being on earth. Is my favorite character.

Episode One: review

Episode Two: Serena decides she really likes Dan after their first date. Dan is secretly embarrassed because he tried to say “bye” to Serena as she left the cab at the end of the night, but she didn’t hear him. It was cute. Also cute, the point in the episode where Blair parades around her bedroom in a corset and sheer robe with fur cuffs. And by cute I mean weird. And old seeming. Like, old-timey seeming.

Back to the plot, for their second date Serena invites Dan to The Rapist’s (aka Chuck Bass’s) weekly brunch held at The Palace Hotel. If I had a bajillion dollars I would hold a brunch like this. And like the show, I would only invite high schoolers and serve them alcohol. Just seems like the right thing to do. Anyway, while at brunch, Dan feels out of place since unlike everyone else in attendance he’s from humble beginnings. Dan, for those of you who don’t know, lives in Brooklyn with his father and younger sister. They live in massive loft in Williamsburg. And I know, W-burg is basically the same price as Manhattan. BUT, here’s what I figure: Dan’s father is a musician and it seems as though he’s been living in NY for a while. So, it’s possible he bought a place in Wills when it was more industrial and less hipster occupied. Hence, this show is completely realistic. Now, where was I…oh right, a million dollar brunch hosted by a seventeen year old.

Towards the end of the brunch Dan finds out Serena sexed it up with Nate while Nate was still dating Blair. Dan says, “I thought you were different.” Serena says, “I thought you were too.” And then they go their (Journey) separate ways.

Episode Three: Episode three begins with a school assembly that kicks off with an a capella version of Fergie’s “Glamorous.” I must say, had our morning events begun with our high school choir singing “Angel of Mine” by Monica, I assure you, I wouldn’t have skipped every single AM gathering that didn’t take attendance. (Once, I decided to sleep in rather than participate in this activity called I-Flirt where every student filled out a questionnaire and discovered which classmates they were most compatible with. To this day, I regret never knowing who my high school soul mate was. [Pizappas, remember when X-n’s number one match was MD, her arch nemesis?])

So, this assembly is important because its focus is on Ivy Week, and Ivy Week’s grand finale where reps from every Ivy league school come to scout out who’s hot and who’s not. It’s a very big event. And can in many ways make or break these students’ chances of getting into school. Since it’s pretty clear SAT scores or grades are no longer important.

A little further into the show, Chuck, from his limo, spots Serena entering a rehab facility. After slowly rolling up his tinted glass window until all you see are Chuck’s eyes framed between two black objects, he tells Blair the news. Both consider this to be the juciest of the juicy, and Blair plans to expose Serena’s “drug problem” to the Ivy reps and class at the week’s main event. (Bitch!) But neither C or B know that Serena was actually going in to visit her brother who recently tried to off himself.

Finally, at the Ivy affair, as planned, Blair announces to the entire crowd that Serena’s pulling a Lohan (rehab). Shortly after, Serena’s brother charges up to Blair and reveals to her his wrist scars. Blair feels remorse. And not because she was most likely wearing a corset underneath her dress, but because she realizes Serena’s life is hard. Then in the final scene Blair reads Serena a letter she wrote to her, but never sent, while Serena was away at boarding school asking S why she left without saying goodbye, explains how she needs S and wants to talk to her, and lastly, how her dad left her mom for “a 31 year-old model. A male model.” (That quote right there deserves four stars.)

The two then cry together under a central park bridge and it seems are once again a united front. <@:)

Episode Four: Serena and Blair are once again BFFs. Blair’s mother, a fashion designer, decides to put Blair in her new ad. While at the fashion shoot everyone realizes Serena has more presence than Blair and Blair’s mom thinks Serena should model instead. Blair tells Serena she steals everything from her, which is technically true, and Serena explains she was told they were doing the shoot together. Blair confronts her mom about being a cold-hearted bitch, and B and S steal B’s mom’s dresses and take glamour shots of each other at Columbus Circle.

Subplot: A pal from Nate and Chuck’s past comes back. He’s a self-proclaimed hippie who comes from money. You know, everyone’s favorite type of person. Chuck does not like hippie and cannot understand why Nate would want to hang out with him, “We’re who you aim to be, not run away from.” Truer words have never been spoken, Chuck.

Everyone’s fave rapist

Fake poor guy tricks Nate into a high stakes poker game, where he is secretly guaranteed to lose. Nate loses $10,000, cannot pay it at the moment, almost gets beat to death, until Chuck barges in and saves the day. Chuck threatens hippie to leave them alone or else, and pays off Nate’s losses. I like the route this series is taking. Everyone who watches this show is well aware of the fact that Chuck is a serial rapist who mostly targets girls just out of middle school. And yet the producers felt compelled to make this guy into a hero. As if to say, everyone has a good side. Even rapists. Bravo, Gossip Girl. Bravo indeed.


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I watched an amazing show last week. An amazing show called “Gossip Girl.” And just so you know, I could not be more serious. It’s my new fave teen dram. This show is pretty much the best thing to sprout from the CW, ever. And I’ve seen a few episodes of the revived-from-the-dead 10th season of “7th Heaven” on this network, so you know there’s some stiff competition going on there in terms of quality television.

“Gossip Girl” is basically “The OC” meets “Bev 9” meets “Mean Girls” meets the Upper East Side of Manhattan (need I say more?). But since I’m sure most of you crazies chose to ignore this new tv series, I’ll review for you the highlights of the pilot.

The New Class.

The pilot starts off with the return of Serena van der Woodsen (lead character and former Queen Bee), who for the past year was away at boarding school in CT. And while this may not seem like a big deal, it is. As Serena abruptly left without telling anyone, not even her best friend Blair (who is clearly the Gretchen of this version of The Plastics). Though, it’s evident Blair is both insecure and annoying, not to mention a brunette, so I probably wouldn’t have told her I was leaving either, especially if I had just slept with her boyfriend. Oh, snap. That’s right. Serena got drunk and slept with her best friend’s boyfriend. Total ho move. But, that does explain why Serena had to leave NY in such haste. This incident is also an indication of Serena’s alcoholism, which is a foreshadow to all the fantastic events to come later in the season. (I can’t wait.)

Moving along, we also within the first 5 minutes of the premiere meet the Humphrey clan. The Humphreys are unpretentious Upper East Siders. They are, for those of us tuning in, a breath of fresh air. They are the Walshes and the Cohens of the series. The Brad and Angelinas. The rich humanitarians. We need them to keep sane. In the Humphrey family are Dan, Jenny, and Rufus. I love these guys. Dan considers himself a nobody amongst the elite prep school crowd. He is in love with Serena but has only spoken to her once in his life. And although Dan is clearly the best looking character on the show (in my opinion) and has a hip sense of style, he is ignored by everyone at school. But maybe that’s because he is a sensitive chap who drops everything to go help his 15-year old sister, Jenny, pick out an outfit for the annual *Kiss on the Lips event. What a good brother. And last but not least is Rufus Humphrey, a has-been musician whose free-spirited wife just left him. He is both Dan and Jenny’s father.

Soon after we meet Serena, Blair, and the Humphreys, we find out more about the rest of the series’ characters: both Serena and Blair’s mothers have hearts of stone, Serena’s little brother tried to commit suicide even though he’s only like, 13 years old, Blair’s boyfriend is definitely the biggest tool on the program, and finally we come into contact with the comic relief of the show — bona fide asshole/molester Chuck Bass. This guy is ridiculous…and hilarious. Not on purpose, obviously. One can’t really put into words the type of character Chuck is, but hopefully you can grasp some sort of inkling as to what he’s like from this photo:


Do you love it?

It’s great. He’s great. Anyway, during the premiere, Blair discovers why Serena skipped town (she slept with Blair’s boyfriend, in case you already forgot) and subsequently Blair dumps them both, only she forgives Nate the next day, but not Serena. (Girl hate.) Then a little later on, Serena (surprisingly) goes on a date with Dan, and while on their date Dan gets an urgent text from Jenny asking for his help, so Dan goes to save Jenny and finds Chuck trying to rape her at the Kiss on the Lips bash. Dan punches Chuck, Chuck says “big mistake,” then Dan, Serena, and Jenny all leave in a cab together. A perfect ending to a perfect pilot.

If you enjoy “The OC” or “90210” or things that are good in general, I’d say watch “Gossip Girl.” Especially because I might be reviewing it on an occasional basis. Also, the show is narrated through the words of THE “Gossip Girl” who knows all and tells all….through her blog. But no one knows who she is. And who doesn’t love that? It’s like if Lisa Turtle had access to the internet, and didn’t have a face. And lastly, rich teens in Manhattan…is there anything better? I didn’t think so.

So do yourselves a favor and watch “Gossip Girl” tonight. It airs, as I’ve already mentioned, on the CW network at 9pm.

End Note: It should probably be addressed that Blake Lively plays the lead as Serena. Blake Lively who is the younger sister of Robin Lively. Robin Lively who played Louise in “Teen Witch.” I’m just saying.

The Best.

*The Kiss on the Lips party is the social event of the year. It marks the beginning of the school year, and only those who receive a hand crafted calligraph-ied invitation are allowed to attend.


Edit: The Humphreys do not actually live on the Upper East Side, but reside in Brooklyn.

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