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Posts Tagged ‘evolution’

There was a time when scientific beliefs were simple. You read the bible about talking snakes, people living for a thousand years, giant arks, raining of sulfur, and you fit your other beliefs around these stories. All you needed was this one book to help guide everything else: morals, history, science, government, etc.

Then came along Charles Darwin, with his dark crusade against religion. He spent years of his life studying plant life and animals on lands across the globe…finding the single way to destroy religion as we know it. The devious production of his scientific “research” was evolution.

Luckily, we now have The Creation Museum to bring us back to the good old days of viewpoints based on ancient texts. As the creator of the museum stated, “All scientists have presuppositions that they start with that determine how they interpret evidence”, and obviously the presuppositions of scientists over the past 200 years has been Satan.

In this museum, all wrongs have been corrected. The world once again was created in 6 days, with the herbivorous Tyrannosaurus Rex hanging out with children…because as founder states, “There may not be any fossil evidence showing dinosaurs and people in the same place at the same time. But it is clearly written that they were alive at the same time.” So there you have it. All those wasted years wasting time “researching”, when the answer was already laying around in our hotel rooms. And if you need more proof, stop by the “Bible Authority Room“, where you learn the Bible 100% literal and true because God said so (letting you know that doubt equals idiocy)! At the museum they’ve also been able to conjure up great detail about those important things that the “scientists” (in their bigotry) ignored…like what was the Garden of Eden like, and how did Noah survive with all those animals?

Thanks to the creation museum, we can finally beat the scientists and their anti-religion agenda and fight their diabolical schemes to play god and take over the sheepish populace’s minds with scientific mumbo-jumbo, and their evil plots.

TAKE THAT SCIENCE!

Finaly Score: God +9,323 / Science – 38

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More working, less coke. More mani-pedis, less passing out in cars. More red carpets, less vomiting in plants. More Hilary Duff, less Paris Hilton. More rehab, less knife fights.

Eek.

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