Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Evan Rachel Wood’

This is Marilyn Manson’s new brand of absinthe, “Mansinthe.” I didn’t make up that name. It’s what it’s called. Mansinthe. Pretty clever– not. I don’t know what MM actually has to do with this product, except that it has his name all over it.

Marilyn Manson is so predictable. Of course he wants his name attached to absinthe. We get it, Marilyn. You’re dark. Good for you.

Anyway, Manson’s girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood, recently tried the soon-to-be-legalized substance and this is what she had to say about it:

For my birthday, I did one shot to try it, and that was it,” Wood said. “I was drunk immediately. Being who he is, Manson wanted to make it as strong as it could possibly be, so it’s got the highest amount of wormwood that you can have legally. One shot of it, and you’re out for the night. Three shots of it, you’re dead.”

Is it just me, or does Mansinthe sound totally awesome? Just kidding. (Just kidding about just kidding.) No, but seriously. Three shots of it and you’re dead? Mansinthe sounds strikingly similar to wheatgrass shots. I know they’re supposed to be healthy, but after three shots of w-grass, I assure you, you will want to die. Or be dead. Also, I wonder if Evan Rachel’s age has something to do with the effect Mansinthe has on her. Since she’s like, fourteen.

Not Right

Whatever. In the end, I think it’s safe to make the assumption that I will most likely try this product once it’s available. Well, I might not, since I’m a wimp. But I’m sure someone I know will. I’ll let you know if it kills them.

Read Full Post »

hEMOes

1. Black plastic framed glasses.
2. Hair parted on the left, cascading over forehead.
3. Pained look in eyes.

Boo ya.

Read Full Post »

Marilyn Manson, 38, has just announced that he is adopting 19 year old, Evan Rachel Wood. And by adopting, I mean they’re dating. Grossness. I do not understand. What is the Manson appeal? Does he not wear white face makeup with smeared turquoise eye shadow, with a pair of mismatched color contacts? Oh wait, that’s exactly what he wears.

Fine couple, these two make. Fine couple indeed.

I am ‘turbed by this. In 2003 Evan Rachel Wood, for those of you who don’t know, was in a film called “Thirteen.” In this film, Wood was cast as a thirteen year old because….she was a thirteen year old. Or, I suppose possibly fourteen at the time of filming. Either way, a young one she was. And this film, “Thirteen,” is what catapulted Wood’s career. (Although, in my book ABC’s “Once and Again” is what really placed Wood on the Hollywood map. Mischa Barton too, for that matter. These two played same sex 8th grade lovers on the show. It was groundbreaking. You probably think I’m joking, but I am being so dead serious, it’s not even funny.) Anyway, my point is that Marilyn Manson is dating a girl whose most notable film is called, “Thirteen.” Not because thirteen was her lucky number, or because the film centers around Friday the 13th, but because the movie’s focus is a thirteen year old girl. Now, had “Thirteen” been made in 1903, rather than 2003, then yes, perhaps this would all make a little more sense. As I’m sure we’d all be a little less shocked had Manson decided to move onto dating corpses rather than actual humans. But this is not the case. Wood is a normal (looking) blonde, and Manson dresses like the anti-christ. Crazy relationship.

Manson quote: “I’ve found my double, my twin, with my new girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood,” Manson tells France’s Le Parisien newspaper. “She’s l9 and certainly that’s very young,” he added, “but that’s not a problem for me. She likes the same things as me. She understands I like to get up when night falls and go to sleep at dawn.”

Someone should tell Marilyn sleeping in until dusk is a tell-tale sign of depression. They should also let him know he probably shouldn’t be dating someone who is (literally) half his age. Although, I think that’s what Manson’s all about, disregarding the public’s opinion of him, and having people think he’s Josh Saviano from the “Wonder Years.”

Therefore, nothing can be done about these two.

So, let us sit back and judge this new, weird couple. But if we’re judging these two, we should probably be judging all May-December relationships:

Brian Austin Green (33) & Megan Fox (19)– They’re engaged. Although, in his defense, Green still looks about 25. And, is probably just as dumb as his 19 year old fiance.

That’s actually the only relationship I can think of right now, good thing it’s such an amazing one.

Now, as an ending note, I would like to address the fact that M. Manson is actually very intelligent. In interviews he is incredibly articulate, down to earth, and engaging. However, that does not excuse the fact that he looks as though he belongs in a satanic cult. And is dating a 19 year old.

Read Full Post »