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Posts Tagged ‘Emo’

One morning, about a week ago, as I was lying in bed wondering which I hated more, waking up at 7:00am or getting punched in the face, I listened to NPR discuss Facebook’s newest plans to restructure its site. Thought provoking. Facebook already wants another “Face”lift? Didn’t they add all those creepy mini-feed features not too long ago? Craze.

Anyway, apparently Facebook wants to overthrow Myspace, whose client count currently surpasses Facebook’s by three times. I’m not surprised. I can’t imagine anyone who wasn’t a college student when Facebook came into existence would have a profile. I mean, Facebook is clearly directed towards the youngsters. With the option of listing one’s current course list and residence hall, it’s pretty obvious the people who would be most attracted to this site are students. (And me, apparently.)

But also, Myspace makes it easier for pedophiles to make up fake (or real) profiles and lure innocent pre-teens into dangerous relationships than Face does. That right there probably ups Myspace’s popularity by like, 27%. Granted a 40-year old with an internet profile on this type of online social network would be questionable in any situation, but with Myspace’s growing popularity amongst D-list celebrities, bands, clothing lines, old hipsters, etc. it’s somewhat understandable to see a middle aged man with 3 pages of candid photographs of himself. To a certain extent, anyway. However, if I ever saw an older-ish man (or woman) on F-book, I wouldn’t think twice about that person either being a parent who’s checking up on their kid, or a dangerous human being with stalker-like tendencies.

Lastly, Facebook has more restrictions in terms of who can see your profile and who cannot. Each profile is connected to a network and can only be viewed by those belonging to that same network. Get it? Meaning, if I find the profile of a person I went to high school with but did not attend the same university or currently live in a different town as he or she, said’s profile is restricted. This makes it very hard to judge people from the past (former classmates, arch nemeses, etc.). It is very inconvenient. How is a person supposed to silently criticize folks if all they have to go by is a 1×1 inch photo? It’s incredibly difficult. Although, occasionally the picture, as they say, speaks for itself. But that’s pretty rare. And even though Myspace practices an “all or nothing” rule in regards to who is allowed to view your list of favorite movies, tv shows, and recent interests, at least they grant the option of exposing your internet persona to the free world.

Now, I’m not saying one site is better than the other, but I am saying Facebook is going to have to revamp its layout quite a bit if they want to seem less student oriented, and more open towards sexual predators.

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Reck’, John’,

There is one Hero, or should I say anti-hero who is the most emo of them all. He is Sylar. The Hemo-ist Hemo in Hemoville (Brooklyn).

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The proof:

1) Black rimmed glasses? Check.
2) Black hair, side part? Check.
3) Forlorn look? Check.

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3a) Forlorn look often a result of being incapacitated due to drug induced paralysis? Check.
4) 5 O’clock shadow? Check.
5) Long sleeved Waffle undershirt with a black band t-shirt accentuating his slim physique? Check.

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6) Anti-establishment / sociopath? Check.

Sylar is bad ass and has EMO written all over him. Not only does he eat brains, he is also a momma’s boy (and what emo boi hasn’t written a song about, or secretly dreamed about going all Norman Bates on his mother?).

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If this anti-hero, or all aforementioned heroes for that matter aren’t emo, then prepubescent Conor Oberst didn’t look like Harry Potter in his first year at Hogwarts. There, I said it.

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By Guest Blogger, H.

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hEMOes

1. Black plastic framed glasses.
2. Hair parted on the left, cascading over forehead.
3. Pained look in eyes.

Boo ya.

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This is Peter Petrelli from Heroes. He also has superpowers – though not of the web-slinging or song-writing variety – and bears a striking resemblance to the previous fellows. I’m declaring a new cultural subgroup: EmoHeroes.

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Okay. I know Conor Oberst is some kind of emo wunkerkind, constantly amazing us with the breadth of his talent. His agile mind weaves together the words that give voice to our mid-20s ennui. He wrangles country music into sweet melodies for hipsters crying into their PBRs, agonizing that their jeans aren’t skinny enough as they gather at the tops of their Converse. And now he can be seen in your local movie parlor portraying an American icon, a New York hero in a summer blockbuster. Oh Conor, one man can handle only so much glory.

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Above: In Costume

Below: Out of Costume

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But really, Spider-man was bad. And actually so is Cassadaga. Maybe he should just focus on music for right now.

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