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Posts Tagged ‘Cell Phones’

Just read this whole recipe first. It’s a lot of steps but its not that much work. Better for two people to do it: one takes care of steak and one takes care of fries. You can conveniently execute this recipe on a small Brooklyn sized grill.

Necessary Jive :

Grill or Cast Iron Pan or (Oiled)

Strip Steaks (one per person or one for two if squeamish)
Unsalted Butter
Fresh Tarragon
Lemon Juice

Idaho Potatoes
Two cloves Garlic
Kosher Salt

1. Get yo’ steaks to room temperature and get that butter soft.
2. Chop up tarragon, combine with butter and tablespoon of lemon juice. Mix with butter.
3. Now, place mixed butter in saran wrap and make a log, place in freezer.
4. Cut up your fries and place in a cold bowl of water with ice cubes.
5. Now, pre-heat your grill pan or grill. Oil it so meat wont stick. On the stovetop, heat about 3-4 inches of oil in a deep pot. Here you really should use an oil thermometer and you should have one, cuz for proper frying this oil should be at 360 degrees F. If it’s cooler than that, you’re wasting your time but hey, dip a finger and take a chance. (Wait, don’t do that).
6. Place two cloves of garlic in the warming up oil and take em out before its hot enuf to put fries in.
7. Now with oil super hot, drop in a first batch o’ fries. Don’t overcrowd, or it will suck suck suck. Just a handful at a time. Get someone else to tend to the fries while you do the steak, as they will need to removed from the oil when they are nice and brown using tongs or a slotted spoon. Put the fries on a rack to drain, preferably, or on a cloth napkin in a bowl and toss around. Throw some plates in the oven to get ’em hot. Keep the done fries in the oven as well.
8. Ok, now the steak. With a 1-1.5 inch steak you want about 3 mins a side for rare, 4 mins for med rare and leave it on forever if you want more than that. Just imagine the heat first searing the edge and then penetrating the meat. You definitely do not want to cook each side for more than 4 minutes in my opinion. Make sure to use tongs and don’t pierce the damn thing. 9. Now let the steak REST. For 2-3 minutes preferably in a warm oven on a hot ass plate or covered in foil.
10. If you are slicing it up, place on cutting board and SLICE ACROSS THE GRAIN. That means slice it perpendicular to the little streaks you see running across the surface of the steak.
11. Cut a round of the now hard butter and place it on top of the steak and let melt. Mmmmmm. Go get your fries.
Serve everything as HOT as you can! Realistically it will take you some tries to get this one efficient, but its f&*% rewarding when you’ve done it a couple times.

Look for more recipe ideas you can rip off as your own at www.chezjjp.com!

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The state of New Jersey is worried kids are abusing bathroom privileges during school hours, therefore The Garden State is thinking of instituting scheduled bathroom breaks.

Many moms and dads argue their kids should be able to use the bathroom whenever they want, but some [New Jersey] schools have instituted strict guidelines and protocols limiting bathroom access.”


I know New Jersey isn’t technically in Brooklyn, but I would like to discuss this topic as it is near and dear to my heart. For so many years I felt trapped in the classroom as I dug deep into my soul trying to determine the perfect moment to ask permission to use the lavatory. But the truth is, there never is a perfect moment. Not in Catholic school anyway. Many of those teachers would rather see you wet (or soil) your pants than see you walk out of the room during one of their lectures. Luckily, a few of them got to experience that. And unluckily, so did I. I got to witness others go through the horrors of wetting (and soiling, unfortunately) in front of their peers, that is. (I just wanted to clarify.) Therefore, I strongly encourage children to freely use the bathroom when necessary, without feeling like they’ve committed some misdeed.

“Mike Yaple, a spokesman for the Jersey School Boards Association says this has become an issue because ‘sometimes the bathroom breaks can be abused – sometimes kids will walk the halls, disrupt other classes, go out and smoke, or sometimes even cheat on a test.'”

Ah yes, the ol’ cheat in the bathroom scam. Can’t say I haven’t tried that one before. So I can see why a teacher might feel hesitant in letting a student out during a test. But other than for that reason, I don’t think a child should be restricted from using the restroom during class hours. Unless they’re doing drugs, or performing swirlies on a helpless nerd. But even then, who are we to interfere with the middle school circle of life? Kids will be kids.


I think New Jersey should maybe focus their energy on cleaning up the state, not on figuring out a suitable bathroom schedule. (Living in an apartment that’s surrounded by garbage trucks and the Gowanus Canal, I feel as though I’ve earned the privilege of calling out other stink infested areas.)

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Have you heard the news? Alec Baldwin has anger management issues. I’m not surprised. He’s related to Stephen Baldwin. Stephen Baldwin who, while a contestant on 2002’s “Celebrity Mole,” tried to strangle Kathy Griffin. (I remember the important things.)

Anyway, in case you don’t pay attention to celebrity gossip, I’ll catch you up to speed. Last week an enraged Baldwin left his daughter, Ireland, a pretty nasty voicemail. Apparently Ireland’s phone was turned off during one of their scheduled father-daughter calls, and this set Baldwin into a fuming ball of fury. (Though, straight to voicemail calls are annoying.) And this voicemail was “somehow” leaked onto the internet. I say “somehow” like “somehow” since I assume this particular v.mail leakage was no accident. No, sir. No accident, indeed. I find it hard to believe any paparazzimonger would be so interested in Basinger and Baldwin’s eleven year old daughter, that he or she would hack into her voice mailbox. In any case, I guess what’s really to be discussed here is the actual content of the ranting.

In this message, Baldwin refers to his daughter as “a rude pig,” calls Basinger a “thoughtless pain in the ass,” and threatens flying out to L.A. for one day only, the 20th, in order to “set [Ireland] straight.” I found that last threat to be legitimately scary. If I were Ireland I’d definitely think dad was going to kill me on the 20th. For Baldwin demands, “[she] better be ready for [him].” Yikes.

(Maybe this is straying off-topic, but I noticed Baldwin speaks to his daughter in an odd condemning tone, as if his daughter were an adult, perhaps an agent of his. Or something. It’s weird. I encourage you to listen for yourself, so you know exactly what I’m talking about. Or not. This audio may not be your cup of tea. Even though, apparently, it is mine. My cup of (chai) tea. Yum.)

Right. Back to the voicemail. At one point during the tirade as he is addressing Ireland’s offed cell phone irresponsibility, Baldwin yells, “I don’t care if you’re eleven or ten!” At first I (chuckled) and judged Baldwin for not knowing his own daughter’s age. But then I remembered that for the past year I thought I was a year younger than I actually was. Therefore, I decided to let this mistake slide. Also, I’m not sure naming Basinger a “thoughtless pain the ass” insinuates instability on Baldwin’s part. Seeing as how I’m sure most actors are….thoughtless pains in the ass(es). Jared Leto.

Now, I in no way condone this type of parental behavior. No parent should threaten their child like that. However, what I will say is, who knows what kind of daughter Ireland is. Maybe she’s like those kids on “The Maury Povich Show” who are forced to enroll in those military camps. Or even worse, maybe she’s a young Paris Hilton (my most hated). I mean, if my memory serves me correctly, at age eleven I’m pretty sure I was Satan. And while my parents never pulled the ol’, “you better be ready for me on the 20th” on me, who’s to say I didn’t deserve such threats. I mean besides most of the people reading this, and America in general. But seriously, (I am serious) we do not know Baldwin’s side of the story. Maybe his intent was to simply scold her, or take away her credit card. My parents were full of empty threats when I was younger. All parents are.

So, let’s not cast stones at the guy (just yet). Everyone deserves the right to defend themselves. But more importantly, it’s been about a week since I listened to the sound clip, and I honestly don’t remember much about it, aside from thinking Ireland was an interesting name. Hence, the voicemail might be a lot worse than I think. But I guess we’ll never know!

I will still watch.

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I don’t understand this season of American Idol. It’s incredibly bad. It’s so bad I actually removed it from my dvr “series recording” list. Removed it. I rarely do this, for any show. Example: I still have “Frasier” listed to record. (That is a secret between you and me, Brooklyn Skeptic readers. And it shall never be discussed in person.) Anyway, my point is that, clearly, my standards for television are relatively low. Not including reality-tv shows. Since I hate them all. Except for Project Runway. And Extreme Makeover – Home Edition. And sometimes America’s Next Top Model. And past American Idols. And the first season of Temptation Island. But that’s it. (That’s so not it.)

Anyway, since I will no longer be tuning into this season of Suck-erican Idol, I’d like to share with you my final thoughts on the program.

To the THREE people who forgot the lyrics to their songs: Are you serious? One song. You had to memorize the lyrics to one song. And not even the whole song, pretty much just the recognizable part. And you blew it. How is this possible? Story: In 5th grade I had to memorize the Apostles’ Creed in its entirety. (I went to Catholic school.) Was it difficult? Very. Did I care about it? Not really. Though, I’m sure at the time I was convinced I would descend into the depths of hell if I couldn’t recite it by heart. But the point is, I was given a task, and completed it. Do I still remember the prayer? That’s not important. What’s important is that even at 10 years old, I was better than these American Idol-ers. (Also, I had a heavenly voice. My rendition of “Let There Be Peace on Earth” would have made you weep.)

To America: Why are you voting for that guy who looks like Nosferatu? Not only is he creepy, he’s like the weirdest person in general. Do you not feel uncomfortable watching him? I do.

Nosferatu

And Sanjaya: Sanjaya, Sanjaya, Sanjaya. I had such high hopes for Sanj, but he has what I like to refer to as, negative stage presence, and negative good style. Meaning, he is a weak singer, and his hair is insane…ly feminine. I think Sanjaya is perhaps, a woman. Which is fine, but I don’t think he knows this yet, which is why he can’t work up to his full potential. Since he is having an identity crisis. Either way, I don’t enjoy watching him/her.

sanjaya girl

That’s all I really have to say about this season of A.I. There are a couple really, really talented female singers, but they in no way compensate for the 9 people who suck.

So, American Idol, I bid you, adieu.

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-Britney Spears has once again, checked out of rehab after only one day. Someone should tell her she should stay in rehab longer. And get a better wig.

-Naomi Cambell was quoted as saying, “I’m the only one of my friends who doesn’t have kids. If I don’t have them soon I’ll be under loads of pressure.” Good idea. Have some kids, Naomi, and then beat them up with your cell phone.

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