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Posts Tagged ‘candidate’

Last night I watched a very informative program on VH1: Lindsay Lohan’s Most Shocking. Initially I was reluctant to invest an hour of my precious time to a program dedicated to exposing truths I was already familiar with. (I am well aware of Linzzee’s party girl tendencies, and her internet leaked crotch shots.) However, me being who I am, a celeb indulging gossiper, watched this show in its entirety, and…was not disappointed. If anything, ironically, I came out of the hour long Lohan fest liking the red-headed seductress even more than I already didn’t. (That’s right, didN’T. I have spent the better half of my time here in NY shit talking Lohan….while secretly hoping to run into her on the street, because apparently, I love her.)

Anyway, after viewing “Lindsay Lohan’s Most Shocking” I realize Lindsay is not the worst of the party girls. Is she a liar? Sure. Is she immature? Who, these days isn’t? Does she like to snort coke? Listen, these actresses need to stay thin, and not everyone wants to fuck with trimspa. But my point is, she is just like the rest of young Hollywood, only she is forced deal with one person no other young Hollywood starlet must endure: Michael Lohan.

Michael Lohan, for those of you who aren’t familiar with the Lohan clan, is Lindsay’s father. (FYI: Dina is Lindsay’s stage mom, Ali is Lindsay’s little sister, and I think Lindz has a lil’ bro too, but we don’t care about him.) Anyway, Father Lohan was recently released from jail, however during his time of incarceration Michael wrote an apologetic ballad to Lindsay, in response to her single, “Confessions of a Broken Heart,” and published these poetic lyrics in the NY Daily News. The NY Daily News, people, the NY Daily News. This, ladies and gents, is why no one can convince me of Lindsay’s behavior as being unwarranted. Had I read poem like lyrics, written by my former stock broker father, in aa/bb rhyme scheme, dedicated to me, in the newspaper, I’m sure I too would do everything in my power to forget that words, in general, exist. And I would attempt to forget by party hardying. Just. Like. Lindsay.

Also addressed in the Lohanmentary were Lindsay’s ongoing celebrity battles. You know, her quarrels with Paris, Scarlett, and that rich douche, Brandon Davis. In case you pay no attention to celebrity gossip (Recklesley), Brandon D was caught on film calling Lindsay derogatory redheaded slurs, and claimed she “shits freckles.” Admittedly, the latter comment made me chuckle a little. However, that does not excuse the fact that Davis, who is in no position to be judging someone else’s appearance, is an arse.

(Fug Davis)

And I could not care less about either Paris Hilton or Scarlett Johannson. Although, Paris Hilton, in my opinion, is the worst human being, period. If the devil, Lucifer, is amongst us right now, disguised as an idiot blonde who enjoys tumbling off horses and making sex vids, then I believe Paris Hilton is the devil. Therefore, in these fights, Lindsay comes out on top.

But most importantly, let us never forget both “Freaky Friday” and “Mean Girls.” These two films catapulted Lindsay’s career for a reason. They are funny, heartfelt, and really capture the true Lohan essence. I love both these movies, and hence, my heart will always hold a soft spot for Miss Lindsay Lohan.

The. End.

PS Did you read Michael Lohan’s song lyrics? I wonder who “THEM” refers to!

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the thing with I know this should be called, “Drowning in Republican Tears #2”, but I can’t avoid sensationalist headlines.

To start things out, the Republican Party puts a lot of stock into being homogeneous, despite being filled to the brim with libertarians, fiscal conservatives, neocons, hardcore evangelicals and so forth. This is all because the Republican Party’s strategy is to create/find a resonating idea (with hyped rhetoric), like communism, terrorism, the moral decay of society, whatever…and then push forward with a hypothetical united front. Then there they are, the Republican base holding hands in unison, singing kumbaya, fighting the good fight, while the evil Democrats are just angry, mean, and disagreeable. It’s really a beautiful dance of cogs and gears.

The great thing about Giuliani is, right when the Republican Party is out trying to find it’s new voice, recovering from scandals and internal doubt, the most Democrat Republican (or just the oddest Republican) is polled first for the Republican primaries. It’s quite wonderful because it undermines the whole idea of the Republican movement. It ruins their aura of homogeny, shows the weakening of the evangelical base, and to top it off Giuliani is completely and utterly unelectable. I won’t even get to his failed personal life, which even makes mine look rosy (ie I break up with girls via text messages, he breaks up with his wife via a public press conference*). He has no experience with public policy on the federal or even state level, and even his 9-11 strengths aren’t that strong.

I’m not saying that Giuliani is sticking with these beliefs, that would be too much to ask from a candidate. Instead he’s scrambling to the right like McCain (or any other candidate’s “readjustments”), trying to find a way to renounce the platforms he’s ran on in the past. He’s already stated that he will only appoint baby loving judges to the Supreme Court. Don’t worry though, we can still watch him as he wiggles around his ideas of gun control and gay marriage. It’ll be amazing to see a man eat his own foot.

So for every moment that Rudy Giuliani is holding the race, he’s a symbol of the present collapse of the Republican Party (besides Bush himself, Mark Foley, Abramoff, “Scooter”, Gonzales…I give up).

*To any single females reading this, I don’t actually break up with people via text messages. Just the occasional email/voicemail. Or sometimes notes with cut letters from a magazine.

P.S.

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Republican Party, you have made your god weep.

I really take glee in all of the proclamations of the downfall of the Republican Party (Yet two years ago they said the same about Democrats). It’s probably due to the overwhelming arrogance that it embodies. With people like Bush, Cheney, Gonzoles as the poster-boys. It’s like the joy of watching the bullies and villains at the end of movies get thrown down into a pit of snakes (my apologies, I’ve watched a lot of Indiana Jones).

In my first installment, let’s talk about our favorite Mr. John McCain.

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