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Archive for the ‘Zach Galifianakis’ Category

They¬†showed it at the New York Cares Bad Art Auction, but now it’s on the internet. It may be the best music video I have every seen in my life.

Enjoy.

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Last week at a Los Angeles Comedy Club, Jon Lovitz beat the living shit out of Andy Dick, apparently smashing his head into the bar several times. It’s no surprise that Andy Dick is pissing people off, but who knew that Jon Lovitz had an ass-kicking in him?

Next up: Zach Galifianakis gives Dane Cook a much deserved kick in the balls.

¬†*Update: The New York Post might have been exaggerating. I know, it’s hard to believe that such a reputable news source would ever hyperbolize!

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Forget padding box office totals with fuzzy math, purchasing a Toyota Tundra, or stuffing one’s pants with a worn (gently loved) gym sock. If you are a man who craves all natural male enhancement, you should look no further than Phillip’s Bodygroom trimmer/shaver:

Bodygroom

Promising to add a full optical inch, the Phillip’s Bodygroom can be used carefree on one’s kiwis, peach and carrot. I’m relatively uncertain what body part is represented by the peach in the risque commerical for the product, as the only logical equivalent certainly falls far from the tree. In fact, one might say this product raises many more questions concerning body maintenance than it answers.

1. Since the inch gained from use of the Bodygroom is purely optical, doesn’t this just leave room to disappoint rather than overachieve in bed?

2. How can a shaving product be both safe and effective when applied to a man’s most important and sensitive areas?

Mega Mega, a reviewer of the Bodygroom product on amazon.com, provides positive feedback, noting that “the skin irritation was only about one third that of standard Mach 3 shave. The skin irritation was limited to the inner thighs (Shaft, Beanbag, and Starfish showed no signs of irritation)….”

While this praise for the comfort and utility of the Bodygroom was mostly typical of the reviews on amazon.com (along with more inventive pseudonyms for one’s taint and package) one user, J. Wilson, recalls only a moment of pure terror:

“Although the small teeth do not cause large knicks in the skin, they do tend to get caught under flat laying hairs, they then dig into the skin while ripping off large chunk at the same time. This creates a larger and more painful blemish than I have ever experienced with any other product – electric or manual. Blood everywhere.”

3. How long does one get to cherish their optical inch after using the Bodygroom, and will repeated shaving lead to diminishing returns?

Fortunately for the Bodygroom, the verdict on this question is decidedly in favor of shaving. According to the Mayo Clinic, “Shaving hair doesn’t make it grow back thicker. It also doesn’t affect the color or rate of growth. The color, location, thickness and length of hair on your body mainly depend on genetics and hormones. After you shave body hair, it may feel coarse or “stubbly” for a time as it grows out. During this phase, it may be more noticeable – and may appear darker or thicker. But it’s not.”

An update with empirical testing of these questions will be forthcoming, provided that my co-worker and I are still alive.

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If you haven’t been by Coney Island yet, you better get on down. Astroland is set to close in September.

Despite the recent alterations in the plans, it’s pretty much accepted that all the grimy ole amusement feel will be cleaned off and polished. Rockabilly kids probably will be replaced by people with time shares, the old facades torn down, hot dog stands replaced by restaurants, freak shows replaced by concerts…

So I say take the F train down, enjoy the atmosphere, play in the glassy sand, take the bumper cars for a drive, build sand castles, see some freaks, go to a burlesque show, and play some skee ball, ride your favorite ride till you’re dizzy…because who knows what the next Coney Island will bring.

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One of the millions of Americans with a tear in his eye after Joey Chestnut’s stunning, record-shattering win: his proctologist, who will begin the process of removing the 66 impacted hotdogs from his colon on Monday.

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Zach Galifianakis, along with Band of Horses, will be holding an auction of “bad art” in Manhattan on July 10th, 2007. Tickets are thirty bucks ($33.75 with tax), and are on sale now. Having seen Mr. Galifianakis perform a few times, I can say that it will undoubtedly be an interesting evening, and well worth the ticket price. All the money made goes to New York Cares. If you are unfamiliar with Zach Galifianakis, here is a short video of one of his jokes (and there’s plenty more on youtube).

So basically, it’s good comedy, good music, a good cause and shitty art. What’s not to love?

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