Archive for the ‘Voting’ Category

Skepticism is not an option when it comes to voting. You can ponder your own efficacy all you want, but here’s the bottom line: this is not about you. This is about all of us. So as a member of this country, you have an obligation to have thought about your ideal version of America, learned enough about which candidate most accurately represents that ideal, and then get off your ass and vote. It takes like five minutes.

That being said, Super Tuesday is on um, Tuesday and all Brooklyners who are registered to vote as either Democrat or Republican need to go to the polls to assist their parties’ leadership in selecting a presidential nominee.

And if you’re not certain of who you’re voting for, might I suggest this guy:

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One of my favorite things about election time is the ceaseless stream of statistics that shoot out of every media orifice. I love statistics.

So on this glorious (kind of) and depressing (sweet, sweet Obama) morning, the New York Times offers a bevy of exit polling statistics which asked New Hampshire’s primary voters what they thought about a variety of topics. The questions were separated into Democrat and Republican and the answers were broken down by the respondent’s candidate of choice. Awesome!

This was the best question asked of the Democrats:


Now see, this makes me sad for Hillary. Because, while she did technically win New Hampshire, in actuality, Bill Clinton won. And really, no one can compete with Bill Clinton. He’s our Reagan. (Oh man – that was my favorite thing to write of all time.) I don’t know if this is legal, but would it be possible for Bill to run as Hillary’s VP? Does anyone know if this violates the term limit rule?

Nevertheless, unless he can run as VP, I’m still reasonably certain we won’t actually have Bill running, and I’m satisfied that Obama supporters actually like Obama most. And while we all know that the 90s were a culturally superior era (for proof, see Britney then and now), I’m not sure that Bill Clinton could even make things better at this point. We need someone completely new to start repairing our bonds to the rest of the world.

On to the Republicans:

The thing that’s so great about New Hampshire, is that they’re all staunch libertarians. Let me just put it out there that I don’t like libertarians because their policies only work for the middle range of people in a society and cannot take into account the 25% at the high and low end of every statistical range. Also, I don’t think they understand the concept of a public good. Whatevs. So, libertarians, while ridiculous, are the only conservatives I even like at this point. Also, it makes for wholly un-extrapolatable (oy, sorry) data in terms of what other American Republicans are into. Check it out:



Here are excellent examples of New Hampshire Republicans totally bucking two of the key foundations of modern Republicanism. Eighty-two percent of them believe that in some-to-all cases, abortion should be legal. This is probably better than the national average for Democrats (but don’t quote me on that). Libertarians believe this because, like traditional conservatives, they want the government all out of their shit, including their women’s uteri. Neo-conservatives, on the other hand, are all up in everyone’s shit, forcing their questionable Christian values on otherwise good, moral people.

And then, while the same-sex union issue isn’t quite as stark for the state’s Republicans as a whole (60% kind of-to-totally oppose), for the voters of the dude who actually won (McCain), they pretty much love themselves some unencumbered dude-on-dude marriage action.


This one is just nice because I hate Bush so much, and apparently everyone but Romney’s bitches agrees with me.

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