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Archive for the ‘Tori Spelling’ Category

Tori Spelling is about to release her autobiography. Nice. We’ll finally get the inside dirt on what went down on the set of 90210. I’m stoked. However, People mag published a few passages from Tori’s autobio, and I have to say, I’m a little disappointed. I suspect her confessions will be no more informative than the 90210 E! True Hollywood Story, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Here are what People (Magazine) considers to be the most interesting excerpts-

Toriā€¦.on why she wrote an autobiography:

“I spent so many years in the media having people tell stories about my life, so I figured I might as well tell the true stories about my life this time. Nobody’s read it! Not even [my husband] Dean!”

Umm, I don’t care about that even a little. Onto some Bev 9 gossip.

On Brian Austen Green:

“I had an insta-crush on Brian Austen Green. Brian was the only guy on the show my age. We had something going over the years we worked together. We were always fighting, making up, having fun and hating each other. We were just young.”

I’m bored already. Tori, did you mean to say, “We were always fighting, making OUT, having fun and hating each other”? Because otherwise I am uninterested in your relationship with Brian. For the sake of your memoir, I sorely hope there’s some subtext involved in that quote.

On Luke Perry:

“As for Luke Perry, he called me ‘Camel’ because I had long eyelashes. Trust me, Luke Perry can call you ‘Camel’ and make it sexy.”

Hmmm, that’s maybe something you should keep to yourself? Chances are it was never intended you hear Luke dub you as “camel.” Especially if the situation I have created below is at all a reflection of the first time you heard Luke refer to you with that nickname:

Jason (Priestly): Hey, have you seen Tori?
Luke: No, I haven’t seen that camel around.
Tori: I’m right here. Did you just call me a camel?
Luke: Oh, hey, I didn’t see you there, Tori. Uhh, yeah. Camel. It’s sexy. I love your eyelashes. They’re so long.

:End Scene:

On Shannen Doherty:

“Shannen had everything, but she could be arrogant and carefree. Jennie [Garth] was outspoken when she thought Shannen was out of line. Sometimes they got along, but there were explosions. Once they got into a fistfight.”

“A night with [Shannen] meant going to the hottest club and drinking until the early hours. I knew she was a ‘bad influence,’ but I liked her anyway.”

Is it just me, or does Shannen sound totally fun? Minus the fistfighting.

The Ladies.

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Reck: Watched some “Degrassi.”
Johnbme: That’s good.
Johnbme: They air that show on the N network. That and “My So-Called Life.”
Johnbme: But I hate both Claire Danes and Jared Leto now. Ruins it.
Johnbme: I’m forced to root for Brian Krakow.
Reck: I love Krakow.
Johnbme: Of course you do. I, like most 13 year olds, hated him. He had no backbone.
Reck: I love him.
Johnbme: He would do anything for Angela even though she’d use him…all the time.
Johnbme: Like when she took his bike.
***
Johnbme: But too bad Jared Leto is like the biggest douche now.
Reck: Is he?
Johnbme: Talking to you is like talking to an alien.

Are there still people, aside from Recklesley, who don’t know the god awful human being Jared Leto has become? Although, this a-hole side of Jared may not be new, actually. I remember reading a “Details” interview with J-Leto when I was in 6th grade, and feeling let down by the fact that he was not exactly like Jordan Catalano. In that, he wasn’t illiterate, and didn’t write songs about his car, Red. But also because he seemed like a jerk. Yeah, I said it, a jerk. He exuded extreme pompousness, which must’ve been pretty present if I could pick up on it when I was 12, and he also stated that his biggest nightmare was to appear on “The Jay Leno Show.” Lame. And while he still hasn’t been a guest on the Tonight Show, he’s appeared on “Late Night with Carson Daly” not once, but twice. (To all celebrities: If you say something in an interview, and I read this interview, I will remember it. And I will call you out on your boldface hypocrisy…in this blog. Which you will definitely read.)

Speaking of Carson Daly, have you seen him lately? I’m worried.

Anyway, back to Jared, I’d like to discuss his recent transformation from quasi-normal, sort of jerkface, hottie-hot-hot…to weird, goth, ass.

Here is old Jared.

Here is new Jared.

Here is fat Jared.

He’s not fat anymore. He gained that weight for a role. But isn’t that weird? He looks like a different person. Anyway, as you can see, Jared has changed from his 1995 self. But I suppose we all have. However, I feel as though most of us, humans, have with the years become better people. But judging by this article, involving Leto’s uncontrollable temper, Elijah Wood, and some strangling, it’s clear Jared L. has only regressed back to a childlike behavior of physical violence, and whining.

Another example of Leto’s gross behavior– a recent quote from Jimmy Kimmel:
“[Jared Leto] was so insufferably satisfied with himself that I wanted to strangle him.”

– Talk show host and funnyman Jimmy Kimmel tells Stuff magazine, when asked if he ever had to hide his disdain for a guest.

I, coincidentally, caught this episode of Jimmy Kimmel. You should try to watch it on youtube, if it hasn’t already been taken down. At least try to see Leto’s “band,” 30 Seconds to Mars perform. It’s great. At one point Leto reaches out the microphone into the crowd, assuming audience members have memorized the lyrics to his song. I think the song was titled, “I Love Myself.” I suppose there may have been a few people who participated in the impromptu 30 Seconds to Mars Bars karaoke. But I can only assume they were either die-hard MSCL fans, or the type of people who can watch “Requiem for a Dream” more than once.

So, there it is. The top however many reasons on why Jared Leto is the worst. Hope you enjoyed this useless entry.

PS Here is the new Claire Danes Gap commercial. Just one of the many reasons why she is my most hated actress.

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Tori Spelling just gave birth to a baby boy. I wonder if he’s going to inherit any of Tori’s original features.

Lindsay Lohan’s father was just released from prison. Good. We need more Lohan drama.

Apparently Tom Brady has impregnated not one, but two women. One of which is Gisele Bundchen. Damn, Tom. Have you ever heard of birth control? And, way to go!

Britney Spears apparently has a new boyfriend. He’s a rocker. They met at Alcoholics Anonymous. Sweet. He wants to save her. And help her pick out a new wig.

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