Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

Okay, I know no one wants to move to LA. It’s ugly, full of jerks who are more attractive than you, et cetera. What could make you move there?

Being paid to live there, a la Alaska?

No? Okay, what else…

Being assured that you can have your pick among Hollywood B-listers at the local SpeedDate?

What? Lorenzo Lamas doesn’t do it for you? Fine. What about….


Yes, you stupid stoner, of course I knew that would do it for you.

As we know, people across California can finagle prescriptions for the sticky-icky that are legal!…at the state level anyway…illegal at the federal level, but who cares?

And now you can get it at a shiny, futuristic-looking machine like this!


I have weed in me.

So I guess this post is really an excuse for you to meet Robert Miko, who gets pot to help with his, um, anger management.

Miko is taking marijuana instead of pharmaceuticals to help him with anger management, he says. Without it, he says he’s surly and violent. With it, “I’m friendlier, I’m compassionate, I’m not angry, I love people. I look at life and I love life.”

Yes! Because you’re stoned.

Don’t mind me, I’m just totally jealous.


A beautiful graphic illustrating pot’s patriotic qualities.

But we must remember the dangers inherent in the drug that the TV is always reminding us of. You might accidentally let your baby brother drown! Or you might shoot your friend in the head. If I could have all the dead friends back that I accidentally shot in the head while I was stoned… well, let’s just say that I would have enough to start a Polyphonic Spree tribute band.

Let’s take a visit to ‘Above the Influence,’ shall we? Um, do they require drug tests for their employees? Because there is no way that whoever made ‘Stoners in the Mist’ wasn’t stoned when they did it. After a Nature Channel-style intro, you can explore the island of stoners in the mist.

This guy explores the stoners in the mist.
I wonder if he will fall in love with them the way Jane Goodall did with the gorillas?

In ‘Social Activity,’ you see a short clip of a perky, got-it-together boy talking to a totally stoned out of her brain girl with brownies in her hair. Delicious!

Marijuana is bad.


I’ll get you so high.

Read Full Post »

Just wanted to call attention to my new favorite word (thank you so much for all you give us, Gawker): emosogynistic.

Re: Dude’s behavior who sees cute girl on subway then goes home and blogs about it on hotsubwaychicks.blogspot.com. Do not be disappointed when you click on this link and there are no busty gals with 12″ subs. I know Jared was.

From the site (editor’s notes in italics):

So this platform (ha! like a subway platform) will (be) for me to call out girls I saw on the train that I think are hot, if they come across their posting I made of them then they can totally hit me up and we’ll go out for coffee, talk, laugh, and hopefully make out and other things….I may draw pictures still not too sure on that one will get back to you there but it will come together somehow. No I’m not really as creepy and masagenistic as I made this out (phew), it just makes for good blogging. Watch out for the first hot chick for me to come across, it may be you ūüėČ (almost as gross as a real life wink)

I’m a little worried at the idea that just because all of the 20-something boys grew up listening to emo, that they have to internalize the craze and really live the lyrics to a New Found Glory song.

The needle on my record player has been wearing thin
This record has been playing since the day you’ve been with him
No more long rides home
No more of your station
I didn’t like it anyways
Remember the time we wrote our names upon the wall
Remember the time we realized “Thriller” was our favorite song

God forbid he overhears HIStory playing on some girl’s ipod.

Read Full Post »

Last night over dinner I got introduced to the “i heart brooklyn girls at coney island” calendar. This shit is hot. A swimsuit calendar of queer femme girls, each month is a different lady shot on locay at Coney looking fucking fabulous and dressed by a local designer. Each month tells us which neighborhood she’s from, too, so we can keep our judgings and assumptions accurate and on track (Miss July is sooo Park Slope)(actually, I just found out from i heart brooklyn girls that the nabe designates where the designer, not the artist, is located. sorry miss july!).

10% of their sales of the 2008 calendars will go to Coney Island USA, the heroes that bring us the Coney Island Museum, the Mermaid Parade, and the Circus Sideshow & Sideshow School.

$15 is a bargain for the amount of solid ogling and queerhipster cred that you will get out of this calendar. I’m gonna put it up at my office and then call people homophobes if they tell me to take it down. Zing! Order it now.


the hotness.


Read Full Post »

What kind of sauces are you basting the contents of your grill this summer with? Beer? Apple Juice? The liquefied remains of two certain blonde sisters recently featured in this here blog?

So many questions, yet so little chimichurri. Yes, chimichurri. Its that bright and herby green sauce from Argentina that miraculously finds its way on beautiful beef and other grilled delights from Patagonia to St. Petersburg…..truly something you should consider when firing up the ol’ BBQ this weekend.

Here are the pros about chimi- its super easy to make within minutes, can and should be used as a marinade, and must be used to directly baste while the subject of the grilling session is cooking!

The cons? There are none in the world of cooking with fire, so make your list and head on over to the market!

You will need the following for one serving (good for about 1-4 people) :

1 bunch parsley
1 small clove garlic
1/4 green onion
1 tbsp fresh oregano
Juice of 1 lime
1 tbsp vinegar (red/white wine vinegar preferably)
1 Jalapeno
Lotsa Olive Oil (yes, “lotsa” is a scientific term)
Salt/Pepper to taste

Food Processor / Blender / Insane Skill with Knives

Stuff everything in the blender except the olive oil and salt/pepper. Blend or pulse while pouring in the olive oil at a steady drizzle until you have the right consistency which is creamy goodness. Adjust salt and pepper to taste. Too much garlic and/or onion and the sauce will suck. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

You can marinate beef, chicken fish or vegetables in this stuff, and then baste while the food is grilling. Or any combination thereof! Enjoy, Brooklyn.

If you don’t stick your hands in it, there ain’t no love

If you don’t stick your hands in it, there ain’t no love…

Read Full Post »

The first breaths of spring are blowing through the borough. The potholes are blossoming. The whales are washing up on the sunny banks of the Gowanus. Romance is abloom in Brooklyn.

We all know how hard it can be to find love in this crazy, mixed-up world and it can be even harder in New York, where most people are either models or investment bankers. You can try to dull the horrible pangs of loneliness by excessive drinking, joining bar sports leagues or going to work, but it’s not like we all have the money, skills, or employment necessary for that.

What do we have? Craig’s List: a surging river of earnest, if socially retarded men and women looking to catch a Mets game and then maybe hump. So in an effort to start spring off with a bang, I offer my favorite display of desperation of the day: “Last Minute Plans.”

Sadly, I may have to take this guy up on his offer because I just found my husband’s post.

Read Full Post »

This is part 2 in the Mets Update for Girls series. You can relive the magic of part 1 here.

Note: Regarding the title of this invaluable series, BrooklynSkeptic is not wedded (ha ha) to traditional gender roles. But there they are, nonetheless.

I love inspirational sports movies. LOVE them. It is my favorite genre after epic fantasy. Rudy, The Karate Kid, Varsity Blues, Bad News Bears, Cool Runnings, Hoosiers, Remember the Titans, Miracle, Mighty Ducks, D2, D3, et cetera. Please feel free to add your own fave inspirational sports movie.

Anyway, what makes watching Dawson Leary sweat and yell and scream his team into victory so much more exciting than Michael Turner tossing around the ole pigskin?

The answer is…..

Backstory! In a movie, you get to see their trials and tribulations as the new kid in school who just can’t fit in, or the hard luck coach who just can’t get it together, or the Jamaican bobsled team who’s never seen snow before!

At this point you may be saying to yourself yes yes I’m totally with you, but what does this have to do with the Mets?

The answer is that the Mets are the only pro sports team that I would want to see in a feature-length movie. And guess what? They wouldn’t even need to cast FPJ as the All-American wonder boy or¬†SLJ as the wisened coach. The Mets has those positions, and more, already filled by the most charming and lovable and photogenic men around!

Adorable 2006 Mets

Look at those precious poonums!

It’s not only me that thinks so. The Metropolitan Men have been getting a lot of press lately, filled with references to how much more charming and lovable they are than the Yankees.

See first the Village Voice article on Jose¬†Reyes, “the most exciting and most handsome player in baseball”! (note: items in italics added by editor)

He is kind and adorable and loves reggaeton. Also, when you go to the games at Shea right around the 3rd Inning if you direct your attention to the jumbo-tron you will get the best Spanish lesson of your life from Profesor Reyes. Learn to say dedos or la puerta and he will melt your corazon.

 See second the NY Mag article on David Wright, who is young and handsome and corn-fed. The article explores whether David Wright is possibly too perfect. The answer? No, not really.

Here they are together:


There are many other talented and charming players on the team, and I encourage them to keep your eyes out for them, as I will.

So, in conclusion, when you think of the Mets in terms of inspirational sports movies it opens up a world of possibilities! When is the scene where Emilio Estevez drives out on the ice? How will we know when Rudy has finally gotten into Notre Dame? What about when, um, Kurt Russell, um, uh, uses his hatred of communism to win a hockey match? Yeah, what about that?!?

The answer is, of course, that you¬†should to watch the Amazin’s and find out for yourself! And once you find that sweet spot, when Reyes’ every steal of a base steals your heart right along with it, then you’ve arrived and like Miss Joey¬†Potter, you may be ready to move past¬†that boy from the¬†creek.

Read Full Post »

Might I suggest something for the sappy and/or jaded among us?

The New York Times online has a video series called “Vows” in which a pair of young, affluent New Yorkers explain how they fell in love and got engaged. Oh sure, they had their trials – she went off to Paris for a semester and fell for a man who warmed her WASPy heart with his thick accent while he stayed behind at Dartmouth, wearing Chinos and developing an addiction to single malt scotch. After graduation, he got into the hedge fund game and she found herself in PR for major publisher. Some time later, they ran into each other again at Balthazar and remembered the truth about their relationship. They must fulfill their destinies and create tiny, near-translucent children for whom they will hire a team of au pairs who will feed them caviar from a sippy cup.

Read Full Post »

…..’til Anal Sex.

NY Mag realizes what everyone has known for years: Anal Sex is fun to talk about.

Says Lisa, a recently divorced fortysomething from across the Hudson: “I think it can feel good for anyone‚ÄĒexcept if you‚Äôre too uptight about it, meaning, you‚Äôre literally tight-assed.‚ÄĚ

Read Full Post »

Hot: Notes on a Scandal. This movie is hot for many reasons, namely for its plot. Cate Blanchett plays an Art teacher who has an affair with her fifteen year old student. Hot. Dame Judy Dench (perfectly) plays a creepy old bag whose obsession with Cate Blanchett’s character is out of control. That’s not so hot, except that it is, because the movie is pretty amazing. And I’m not sure if you’ve seen any previews or clips of Notes, but if you have, you most likely caught the moment where Judy Dench snaps, “You’re not young!” to Cate Blanchett. Classic. And true. I suggest seeing this movie before the Oscars.

Not Hot: Marie Antoinette. Why was this movie made? Because it’s so bad? Is that why? They should stop making movies for that reason. Aesthetically, this movie could not have been better. As an actual film with dialogue, this movie was so not hot. Much, much more could have been done to convey the seriousness of the Fall of Versailles, and the bond between Marie and Louis XVI, played by Jason Schwartzman. Haha. It’s funny because Jason Schwartzman probably sort of looks like Louis XVI. Hot. And while I do loathe Kirsten Dunst (not hot) almost as much as I loathe Andy Samberg (the nottest of the hot), that has almost nothing to do with my harsh critique of Marie Ant. Almost. I am of course human. But I usually like Sophia Coppola’s work and think she’ll do better projects in the future. I just hope they won’t leave me feeling full of rage. Oh, and didn’t Kirsten Dunst and Andy Samberg date? Vomit.

Read Full Post »

A poem

Roses are red
Violets are blue
RK hates Samberg,
But Brooklyn Skeptic loves you!

Read Full Post »