IMPORTANT NEWS OF THE DAY:
(Important news items are rated on a scale from 1-10, 1 representing “not important” and 10 representing “very important”….in case you’ve never seen a scale before.)
Campaign Reporters Don’t Care About Foreign Policy.
Seems reporters don’t think foreign policy distinctions between candidates is important leading to inadequate coverage of the subject. They should really rethink their priorities and GET ON THAT SHIT.
Bestiality Leads to Man’s Death.
(Edit: This story took place in 2005. But I still find it relevant to today’s battle with animal fetishes.)
On a serious note, this proves bestiality should be outlawed. On a less serious note, many Catherine the Great jokes can be linked to this story. Okay, not many, just one. But a pretty noteworthy one.
Luke From the O.C. to Appear on Desperate Housewives.
My favorite character from the O.C. is moving up in the world and into Wisteria Lane. While I’ve never been able to sit through a single episode of “Desperate Housewives,” knowing that (the O.C.’s) Marissa’s former troubled, yet somehow endearing, boyfriend is still getting work will allow me to sleep just a little bit sounder tonight.
Importance: 9 No, just kidding. Importance: 1
Where Was Brad Renfro’s Tribute Last Night?
Time constraints are to be blamed for Brad Renfro’s absence from the Oscar’s Tribute Montage. Bullshit. I don’t believe this. It’s clear no one in the editing room realized the large role Renfro played in the lives of countless teenage girls all over the country, most of whom at one point in their lives felt it was necessary to post at least one Tigerbeat pinup of Renfro on each of their bedroom walls ensuring full Renfro visibility at all times. Shame on you, Oscars.
Life Imitates Art for “Once” Stars.
Not only did the “Once” cuties, Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova, take home an Oscar last night, but the two are dating in real life. Yay. However, Irglova is only 19 years old and Hansard is 37. Hmmmmm, sort of nayish. But not really, since “Once” is such a beautiful film, and how could anyone not fall in love with either one of these two?
Elizabeth Hasselback Was a Nerd, and in a Serious Way.
This is what Elizabeth Hasselback used to look like. No wonder she’s so bitter.
John McCain Fibs.
Even though we all know McCain only speaks the truth, Brave New Films has released a (pretty funny) video responding to his claims to be “the only candidate that the special interests don’t give money to.”