I went into H&M in all seriousness. I wanted a cheap dress. That I liked. But the thing is, I think there is some kind of nefarious shit going on. I think that most dresses that I would actually want to buy are priced above $40. And if I’m looking to spend above $40 I’ll go somewhere that is not H&M. That is for sure.
So what are we left with, in the below $40 bracket? Some of this stuff…
On this yucky rainy day I bring you the next installment of H&M: Good Enough for Madge, Good Enough For You?
(The first installment is here.)
This one was up on a really high rack, like they didn’t expect anyone to actually get it down. When I was standing on my tiptoes to knock the edge of the hanger, I got a few looks. Maybe it was the BO, maybe not. We’ll never know.
(ha! BO jokes. classic.)
This was comfortable, fine, whatever. My issue comes, obviously, with the giant bow across the tits. I feel like giant bows have been consistently derided in celebrity fashion for a few seasons now. Which makes it exactly the right time for H&M to incorporate the look into its ready-to-wear? I don’t know. I’m not ready for it, though.
Let’s move on.
Oooh. Now, this. THIS I can feel good about. How can I describe the secret, dare I say naughty (ew) thrill I felt when I picked these up? These are NOT your 6 year old-self’s overalls, I’ll tell you that much. I did not include a butt shot because it was too lewd. These were tight. And wide legged. At the same time. Modern science. Amazing.
Let’s try it another way, shall we?
Yes! Hello, Kelly Kapowski! I knew you were in there somewhere.
It’s nice to see you again.
Why, yes, I have lost weight. How nice of you to notice.
Your hair is looking especially lustrous, also. I knew not to believe those cocaine rumors.
Oh! Thanks! Do you like them? Do you think I should buy them? You know, they remind me of you. I feel… powerful in them.
Oh, OK. I understand. The week after Easter is a busy time for all of us. Believe me. I mean, I believe you.
I’m happy for H&M that they’re experimenting with organic cotton, but does it have to look so much like it’s made out of organic cotton?
This dress, in case you can’t tell, is covered with fringe. Actually, to be precise, it’s covered with little loops of poleyester thread. So if you wanted it to be true fringe, you’d have to take a blade to it. But why would you want to do that? It’s so handsome, as is.
I took a video of this dress, because, as you may know, fringe is a dish best served IN MOTION. But I couldn’t email it off my phone. So here’s the next best (actually, much much better) thing:
Talk about fringe!!
Actually, when I was leaving the dressing room I saw a very chic looking lady holding this dress, waiting to try it on. Huh.
Look at this, huh? Look closer:
Weird. I ran out of words.