Once you turn 21, the great joy that once came from sneaking into places where you weren’t supposed to be tends to fade a bit and lose its shape, like so much Nickelodeon Gak left out in the sun…
But it doesn’t have to be that way! There are many ways to sneak into things, even when you are as gray and wrinkled as Sophia Petrillo (come to think of it, I’m almost certain she sneaked into some bingo night or another). Today I’m going to write about the virtues of sneaking into a movie you didn’t pay for.
Yesterday I went to see Superbad. When it was over I said “Hey, it’s raining. Why go outside when we could stay in here and watch another movie?” So we did. It was easy and fun. Except for the fact that the second movie we saw was The Bourne Ultimatum.
I don’t actually think there was an ultimatum. I think the choice has been made. The choice to spend all the money they saved on writers on Very Suspenseful Music.
But anyway, sneaking in. (BTW, Jason Bourne is an excellent sneaker.) UA on Court Street is an excellent place to sneak into a movie, as its millions of floors and multiple concession stands on different floors makes trips up and down the escalators seem commonplace.
Another highlight of that theater: you might see Elijah Wood, like we did, coming out of Superbad! He looked skinny and mutton-chopped and pale, sort of like he’d been carrying this profound burden for a while.
So, next time you’re lamenting how easy it is to buy booze, or how no one cards you when you buy porn anymore, or how the cop that rolls up next to you is harassing you as a full-grown adult, not just a truant kid, sneak into a movie and feel young again!
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Posted in Advertising, brooklyn, Celebrity Sighting, Sanity, tagged Dr. Martens, Florida, Fred Astaire, Hatred, Kurt Cobain, Superman, Unjust, Vanessa Minnillo on June 5, 2007|
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Dear Advertising Agencies,
I remember when I saw my first Fred Astaire movie. It was Flying Down to Rio, which was Astaire’s first movie as well. And his first pairing with Ginger Rogers. It was delightful. I also remember when I was flipping through the channels once, and saw Fred Astaire dancing around with a vacuum cleaner. I remember thinking “Huh, that’s weird, I thought Fred Astaire died a decade ago,” and “I don’t remember Ginger Rogers looking like a vacuum cleaner.” Apparently, the use of dead celebrities in advertising is quite common, and has, of late, come under fire. Saatchi & Saatchi, a British advertising agency who were employed by Airwair who make Dr. Martens, released a series of photos of dead rockers Kurt Cobain, Joey Ramone, Joe Strummer and Sid Vicious wearing togas, standing on clouds, all happily clad in Dr. Martens boots.
Now this is just shitty. First of all, I don’t think any commercial featuring a dead person is going to make me want to rush out and buy a product. Seeing a re-animated Orville Redenbacher listening to an iPod and eating popcorn did not give me a hankering for his salty, buttery kernels (I’ll take Paul Newman’s sexier and more alive brand any day of the week). I’m not running to the Gap to pick up a pair of black skinny jeans just because Audrey Hepburn danced around to an AC/DC song. Why do you think that having dead people promote your product is going to make us want them any more than having living people do it?
And do you really think you are somehow paying homage to these people by using their image against their will to push a product on people? And of all people, these four rock stars? I mean, if Smash Mouth all died in a plane crash, I would guess that they would be okay with their image being used to advertise a brand of, I don’t know, Tempur-Pedic Mattresses (the only mattress endorsed by NASA!). But somehow I doubt that four rock stars, known for their anti-establishment punk rock sensibilities would agree to be posthumous spokespeople for a brand of shoes. And let us all not forget what is possibly your most shameless effort:
In a word, dear advertising CEO’s, it’s not cute. It’s fucked up and disrespectful. I don’t care whose permission you’re getting to advertise what, unless the celebrity’s corpse reanimates itself to sign some contracts, leave it alone. There are plenty of living celebrities out there willing to push your products for you.
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Posted in Celebrity Sighting, Mets, tagged Boo, Delgado, Group Hug, Jose Reyes, Rachel Bilson, Rehab, The O.C., Winners on May 30, 2007|
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Seriously, they’re so cute.
And for when the video gets taken down for copyright infringement, here’s the general idea:
Jose Reyes is about to give Carlos Delgado a bear hug.
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