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Everybody with a pair of currently or formerly active gonads knows about sexual desire. It is a near-universal experience, the invisible clause on one’s birth certificate stipulating that one will, upon reaching maturity, feel the urge to engage in activities often associated with the issuance of more birth certificates.”

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Dear New York Times,

Please stop making me want to kill myself so early in the morning.

Many gonads,
Brooklyn Skeptic

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Reck: Watched some “Degrassi.”
Johnbme: That’s good.
Johnbme: They air that show on the N network. That and “My So-Called Life.”
Johnbme: But I hate both Claire Danes and Jared Leto now. Ruins it.
Johnbme: I’m forced to root for Brian Krakow.
Reck: I love Krakow.
Johnbme: Of course you do. I, like most 13 year olds, hated him. He had no backbone.
Reck: I love him.
Johnbme: He would do anything for Angela even though she’d use him…all the time.
Johnbme: Like when she took his bike.
***
Johnbme: But too bad Jared Leto is like the biggest douche now.
Reck: Is he?
Johnbme: Talking to you is like talking to an alien.

Are there still people, aside from Recklesley, who don’t know the god awful human being Jared Leto has become? Although, this a-hole side of Jared may not be new, actually. I remember reading a “Details” interview with J-Leto when I was in 6th grade, and feeling let down by the fact that he was not exactly like Jordan Catalano. In that, he wasn’t illiterate, and didn’t write songs about his car, Red. But also because he seemed like a jerk. Yeah, I said it, a jerk. He exuded extreme pompousness, which must’ve been pretty present if I could pick up on it when I was 12, and he also stated that his biggest nightmare was to appear on “The Jay Leno Show.” Lame. And while he still hasn’t been a guest on the Tonight Show, he’s appeared on “Late Night with Carson Daly” not once, but twice. (To all celebrities: If you say something in an interview, and I read this interview, I will remember it. And I will call you out on your boldface hypocrisy…in this blog. Which you will definitely read.)

Speaking of Carson Daly, have you seen him lately? I’m worried.

Anyway, back to Jared, I’d like to discuss his recent transformation from quasi-normal, sort of jerkface, hottie-hot-hot…to weird, goth, ass.

Here is old Jared.

Here is new Jared.

Here is fat Jared.

He’s not fat anymore. He gained that weight for a role. But isn’t that weird? He looks like a different person. Anyway, as you can see, Jared has changed from his 1995 self. But I suppose we all have. However, I feel as though most of us, humans, have with the years become better people. But judging by this article, involving Leto’s uncontrollable temper, Elijah Wood, and some strangling, it’s clear Jared L. has only regressed back to a childlike behavior of physical violence, and whining.

Another example of Leto’s gross behavior– a recent quote from Jimmy Kimmel:
“[Jared Leto] was so insufferably satisfied with himself that I wanted to strangle him.”

– Talk show host and funnyman Jimmy Kimmel tells Stuff magazine, when asked if he ever had to hide his disdain for a guest.

I, coincidentally, caught this episode of Jimmy Kimmel. You should try to watch it on youtube, if it hasn’t already been taken down. At least try to see Leto’s “band,” 30 Seconds to Mars perform. It’s great. At one point Leto reaches out the microphone into the crowd, assuming audience members have memorized the lyrics to his song. I think the song was titled, “I Love Myself.” I suppose there may have been a few people who participated in the impromptu 30 Seconds to Mars Bars karaoke. But I can only assume they were either die-hard MSCL fans, or the type of people who can watch “Requiem for a Dream” more than once.

So, there it is. The top however many reasons on why Jared Leto is the worst. Hope you enjoyed this useless entry.

PS Here is the new Claire Danes Gap commercial. Just one of the many reasons why she is my most hated actress.

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j-train.gifz-train.gifm-train.gif You pretty much know what you’re getting with the JZM Condom. It’s mostly in Brooklyn, but there’s a quick in and out through Manhattan.

4-train.gif5-train.gif The 4/5 Condom is smooth and efficient. It’ll get you there fast and it hardly ever breaks.

airtrain.gif  The AirTrain Condom is just like all the other condoms, but more expensive, modern and confusing. Give yourself at least two hours per use.

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