Hi. How are you? Are you comfortable? Good. Let’s have a chat.
I – ah – I want you to know. That I know.
It’s OK! Let’s just talk about it, OK?
I know, because the website that hosts our blog – it tells us what you search for. What brought you to us.
So you see, I know that you’re searching.
I know that you’re searching for “Jason Schwartzman naked.”
And also, “lesbian sex in H&M dressing room.”
When you’re searching for these things, what is it that you’re really searching for? Really. You know where I think you should try looking?
Inside your own heart, my love. It’s been there all along.
Oh, but to the people who found us by searching “horse fuck”? You were looking in the right place. Clearly.