Why is it hard to make new friends after college? Because you’re not drunk as often? False. Because you aren’t going to classes with people who are interested in the same topics as you? Uh-uh. Because you aren’t as young and attractive as you were then? Possibly. Because you don’t know the same people to gossip about? BINGO!
For me and my friends, celebrities have replaced the ‘known students’ (j-lo with the short-shorts, douchey with the loud talking and pregnant-getting, omar with the booty, et cetera) on campus that I liked to talk about. So my friends and I gossip about Britney’s downfall and Owen’s suicide and all that because we live in different places and work in different places and don’t see the same cast of characters every day anymore!
The exception is what I like to call the ‘Melrose Rule,’ wherein if five or more people have kissed five or more of said same people and live in the same building, outside influence is rarely necessary (only for 2-5 episode guest stints) and you can forego celebrity gossip for inner turmoil. But since I can’t get all my friends to move to the same building and they won’t play spin the bottle with me (prudes) we have to rely on the celebs for us to have common shit-talking ground.
Clearly, we gossip about each other too but there are only a finite number of us, whereas on a large campus or the pages of US Weekly there are dozens of tasty pieces to choose from.
I’m just saying.