Resident Evil: Extinction: Milla Jovovich kills more zombies (are they zombies?) in this third installment of the series based on the popular video game. Expect explosions, mutations, fun special effects and bad acting. I will say, however, that the advertising campaign for this film has been incredible. I somehow doubt that the film will come close to living up to it. This is playing at the United Artists on Court Street.
Sydney White: Amanda Bynes stars in an update of Snow White that takes place on a college campus. The seven dwarves are replaced by seven geeks. This movie will suck. One thing I’d like to say though, is that it stars Samm Levine. You may remember Samm from the show Freaks and Geeks, which aired a little under a decade ago. It was a fantastic show, and Samm, who played one of the titular geeks, was quite perfect in the role of Neil Schweiber. I even met him once at a bar in the East Village. He was a nice guy. And he needs to be playing better roles than Geek #4 in Amanda Bynes movies. This is playing at the United Artists on Court Street.
Good Luck Chuck: Dane Cook, a comedian who often has punchlines involving words like “D-Bag,” has managed to land another movie. He’s another comedian who graduated from If I Shout Things Loudly They Must Be Funny University (IISTLTMBFU – great football team). This movie was originally advertised as having a plot of sorts: Dane Cook is cursed to being the last guy women sleep with before finding the men they marry. Now, however, the TV ads seem to make the movie about Jessica Alba and how she falls down or is naked a lot. Maybe they realized that that was a slightly bigger draw than Dane Cook’s obnoxious smirk and lack of subtlety. This is playing at Prospect Park Pavilion and the United Artists on Court Street.
The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford: Apparently they left out the subtitle “Who For Serious Wasn’t That Bad Guy if You Really Got to Know Him.” Running at almost three hours, this cowboy film stars Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck, Mary Louise Parker and, as every cowboy movie should, Sam Shepard. The advance reviews aren’t great, but director Andrew Dominik also wrote and directed the incredibly underrated Chopper. This is playing at the Angelika.
The Jane Austen Book Club: Six women pick six different Jane Austen books that somehow reflect the relationships in which they find themselves. Maria Bello, Emily Blunt, Amy Brenneman, Maggie Grace, Kathy Baker and Lynn Redgrave star. Jimmy Smits also stars as a cheating husband who tragically drowns in estrogen mid-film. This is playing at Union Square.
The Last Winter: From the director of Wendigo comes this film which is being described as “environmental horror.” In a melting part of Northern Alaska, a oil drilling company is slowly destroying the tundra, not realizing that they’re releasing something that has been frozen under the ice for centuries. You’ve got to admit that sounds spectacular. What makes it more even more spectacular? Ron Perlman (no relation to Rhea). This is playing at the IFC Center.
Into the Wild: Apparently Sean Penn called Zach Galifianakis one day and asked him what he would be doing the following week. Galifianakis responded that he would probably be “going to Arby’s.” Penn instead convinced both Galifianakis and Vince Vaughn to spend two weeks with him in a hunting lodge in South Dakota. This was where they talked about Penn’s new movie, an adaptation of Jon Krakauer’s Into the Wild. People often forget that Sean Penn is a pretty damn good director (The Crossing Guard, The Pledge). Between all of that and a soundtrack featuring Pearl Jam, I can safely say that this is my pick of the week. This is playing at the Landmark Sunshine.
Eastern Promises has also opened wide and is playing at BAM, Cobble Hill and the Pavilion.