Once you turn 21, the great joy that once came from sneaking into places where you weren’t supposed to be tends to fade a bit and lose its shape, like so much Nickelodeon Gak left out in the sun…
But it doesn’t have to be that way! There are many ways to sneak into things, even when you are as gray and wrinkled as Sophia Petrillo (come to think of it, I’m almost certain she sneaked into some bingo night or another). Today I’m going to write about the virtues of sneaking into a movie you didn’t pay for.
Yesterday I went to see Superbad. When it was over I said “Hey, it’s raining. Why go outside when we could stay in here and watch another movie?” So we did. It was easy and fun. Except for the fact that the second movie we saw was The Bourne Ultimatum.
I don’t actually think there was an ultimatum. I think the choice has been made. The choice to spend all the money they saved on writers on Very Suspenseful Music.
But anyway, sneaking in. (BTW, Jason Bourne is an excellent sneaker.) UA on Court Street is an excellent place to sneak into a movie, as its millions of floors and multiple concession stands on different floors makes trips up and down the escalators seem commonplace.
Another highlight of that theater: you might see Elijah Wood, like we did, coming out of Superbad! He looked skinny and mutton-chopped and pale, sort of like he’d been carrying this profound burden for a while.
So, next time you’re lamenting how easy it is to buy booze, or how no one cards you when you buy porn anymore, or how the cop that rolls up next to you is harassing you as a full-grown adult, not just a truant kid, sneak into a movie and feel young again!