I watched my first (and last) episode of The Hills the other night, and this is what I retained from the show:
- It is about a small faction of Hitler Youth living in the Hollywood Hills.
- They speak in a code language, using phrasing like “WTF?” “LOL” and “bitchcakes.”
- Heidi totally spread a rumor about Lauren being in some totally bogus sex tape even though they were like totally BFF’s before but Heidi was all “what the fuck?” and then Lauren was all “oh no you didn’t just say that” and Heidi was like “whatever slut” and it was like so totally sweet.
- They are on a network that once promoted the art of music.
This was the first thing I had watched on Music Television for a long time, as I, like the majority of the world, realized that it had replaced music with rich, drunk teens who like to have sex. And now, apparently, even MTV has realized this. According to Gawker, who spoke with a staffer at the network, there is a “What does M stand for?” party going on that is very….mmmmysterious. Has MTV finally thrown in the towel? Given up on what they once were? Did they finally read all of my letters and decide to bring back Singled Out? (Hey – Chris Hardwick had real stage presence.) Is the M finally going to stand for something realistic, like Malignant? Or will MTV return to its musical roots?