This morning, like all other mornings, my alarm clock went off at 7:15 AM. As the alarm continued to go off again and again every 5 minutes, I began to notice an alarming (ha) trend. It was so upsetting, I actually woke up.
Instead of Journey, Queen, Melissa Ethridge and the other members of the Jack FM motley crew, The Beatles and The Beach Boys were gently coaxing me out of my dream world. For the love of god, it was oldies! Apparently, after two precious years of DJ-less music from the 80s and 90s, 101.1 FM has returned to its original format. While I’m sure this is great news for people who once cared deeply for WCBS-FM’s melange of 60s classics, it makes me want to die a little.
Now, I love oldies as much as the next guy. The Beatles and The Beach Boys fill my heart with glee – on par with Queen, even. And to be quite honest, I really hated listening to the deeply obnoxious 80s music that regularly dared to rouse me on Jack FM. But at 7:15, I am not an understanding or stable person. I expected to hear nothing but familiar music interrupted only occasionally by Subaru commercials and Amy Scot telling me the weather or the “jack ups” on the Long Island Expressway. Instead, I got a bunch of douchey morning DJs who were positively tickled pink to be back on the air. Don’t they know that the reason I listen to Jack FM in the morning is because there is nothing quite as loathsome in the world as morning DJs? They are unholy.
So, it looks like I’ll be returning to my previous morning radio station – NPR. Might as well get some information if I’m being forced to listen to assholes spouting gibberish. Sigh.