PETA, best known as the people responsible for whatever gory meat-making video made you turn veg for the worst 3 months of your life (ahem, jbm), turn out to also be shameless celebrity-humpers just like us!
Now, they’re asking us to vote on who is the World’s Sexiest Vegetarian!
Some interesting entries on the ballot: Chelsea Clinton, Lauren Bush (actually not surprising, but I guffawed when I first read it because I thought it said Laura Bush), Serenity (WTF? What is that?), and Princess Superstar! I like that rapping about pussies and fucking Kool Keith raw is enough to get you noticed by PETA.
For the boys, we’ve got some real winners. (I’m a little worried about Plainclothesman getting caught between X-Filing and Pearl Jamming, if you know what I mean.) I’m enjoying a fantasy of Bob Barker, Dennis Kucinich, Common, Casey Kasem, GZA, John C. Reily, Jonathan Safran Foer, JTT, Leonard Nimoy, Little Richard, Prince, and Weird Al battling it out. It’s a lot to imagine. Wow.
Weirdly enough, though it is a ‘worldwide’ contest there is a separate category for “International.” Whatever, PETA, I guess you were too busy doing extra credit in life sciences to pay attention in geography.
Last year’s winners were Prince (yess!) and Kristen Bell (What? Seriously? Is she on the WB? I mean the CW?). Shania Twain got crowned in 2001 and I like thinking about her in I Heart Huckabees telling off Jude Law. 2003 winner Josh Hartnett has a lovely story about his turn to the vag – I mean veg: “One day I was cutting up a chicken for my mom, and I hit a tumor with the knife. There was [pus] and blood all over the place. That was enough for me.”
Ew! Sick. It’s enough for me too. And did he not really say pus? I’m confused.
OK, go make your voices heard!