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Archive for May, 2007

Marijuanaganda

So I was calmly surfing the internet this afternoon, on a site I frequent from time to time, when I was hit with an ad on the side of the page that simply had a picture of a joint, and the words “Yes” and “No” written next to it. In fear of being called a square by the internets, I succumbed to online peer pressure and clicked yes. It then brought me to this website. Now I’m no scientomologist (although I play one on the internet), but some of these “facts” seem a little questionable to me. This is, after all, Brooklyn Skeptic. Reader, I am skeptical.

For example, fact #3 claims that marijuana smokers are four times more likely to get D’s in class. Really? Four times more likely to get D’s? Not five times more likely to get F’s? I don’t think anyone is arguing that smoking weed is going to make you a genius (except maybe Willy Nelson). However I feel that if you were assigned a paper on marijuana for a science class, and used said piece of data, your teacher would most likely give you a D. And you’d deserve it, you fucking pothead.

Anti-marijuana advertising has always been pretty piss-poor, from movies like Reefer Madness to Rachel Leigh Cook going schizo on an egg. My personal favorite was the one where a kid forgets his grandmother’s birthday “because he was stoned.” There are also those that show kids getting into car accidents because they’re stoned, which would be a lot easier to support if they weren’t shown back to back with Busweiser commercials where a bunch of dudes are drinking shitloads of beer, most likely at sporting events far from any form of public transportation.

These ads, to their credit, are not giving anyone any false information. I’m sure that a kid has missed his or her grandma’s birthday because he or she was stoned. I’m sure that people under the influence of marijuana have gotten in car accidents. And I’m sure that Rachel Leigh Cook has destroyed many, many eggs. But to pull false facts out of your ass just to scare people into not doing a drug? That, my friends, is propaganda.

Thank god sniffing glue is still good for me.

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Here’s some news that was good to me, but probably bad for Williamsburg (which really just makes it better for me): Galapagos Art Space is moving!

Galapagos has been in Williamsburg for twelve years, during which time the space hosted such notables as Monster Eiffel Tower. They were there when everyone had payos instead of asymmetrical haircuts and kippahs instead of skinny jeans. But it looks like Galapagos gave up on Billysburg, blanching at their landlord’s requested 30% rent increase. Apparently they can’t handle the gentle peaks and troughs of the “radically chic, chicly radical” neighborhood’s real estate market. Pussies.

So, keep an eye out for Galapagos moving into a huge space in DUMBO and making real estate speculators shriek with glee as another incredibly cool, expensive neighborhood grows up around the club.

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One morning, about a week ago, as I was lying in bed wondering which I hated more, waking up at 7:00am or getting punched in the face, I listened to NPR discuss Facebook’s newest plans to restructure its site. Thought provoking. Facebook already wants another “Face”lift? Didn’t they add all those creepy mini-feed features not too long ago? Craze.

Anyway, apparently Facebook wants to overthrow Myspace, whose client count currently surpasses Facebook’s by three times. I’m not surprised. I can’t imagine anyone who wasn’t a college student when Facebook came into existence would have a profile. I mean, Facebook is clearly directed towards the youngsters. With the option of listing one’s current course list and residence hall, it’s pretty obvious the people who would be most attracted to this site are students. (And me, apparently.)

But also, Myspace makes it easier for pedophiles to make up fake (or real) profiles and lure innocent pre-teens into dangerous relationships than Face does. That right there probably ups Myspace’s popularity by like, 27%. Granted a 40-year old with an internet profile on this type of online social network would be questionable in any situation, but with Myspace’s growing popularity amongst D-list celebrities, bands, clothing lines, old hipsters, etc. it’s somewhat understandable to see a middle aged man with 3 pages of candid photographs of himself. To a certain extent, anyway. However, if I ever saw an older-ish man (or woman) on F-book, I wouldn’t think twice about that person either being a parent who’s checking up on their kid, or a dangerous human being with stalker-like tendencies.

Lastly, Facebook has more restrictions in terms of who can see your profile and who cannot. Each profile is connected to a network and can only be viewed by those belonging to that same network. Get it? Meaning, if I find the profile of a person I went to high school with but did not attend the same university or currently live in a different town as he or she, said’s profile is restricted. This makes it very hard to judge people from the past (former classmates, arch nemeses, etc.). It is very inconvenient. How is a person supposed to silently criticize folks if all they have to go by is a 1×1 inch photo? It’s incredibly difficult. Although, occasionally the picture, as they say, speaks for itself. But that’s pretty rare. And even though Myspace practices an “all or nothing” rule in regards to who is allowed to view your list of favorite movies, tv shows, and recent interests, at least they grant the option of exposing your internet persona to the free world.

Now, I’m not saying one site is better than the other, but I am saying Facebook is going to have to revamp its layout quite a bit if they want to seem less student oriented, and more open towards sexual predators.

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Three new movies are in wide release this weekend: a sex comedy, a psychological thriller and an inspirational sports movie. So basically, no matter who you are, there’s a movie for you to see this weekend. Unless you’re a robot, in which case, go make me a sandwich.

Mr. Brooks – This movie, which is playing in Brooklyn at the Prospect Park Pavillion and the United Artists on Court Street, seems bizarre to me. First of all, we’ve got Kevin Costner, who hasn’t had a good movie in quite some time. Then you’ve Demi Moore, who hasn’t spent much time in the public eye outside of photo-ops with her twelve year old boyfriend. And then, Dane Cook. Yeah, Dane Cook is in this. And it’s not a funny movie (though apparently, neither was Employee of the Month – SLAM!). And finally the director, Bruce Evans, has only directed one other film, and that was fifteen years ago. And that movie was the Christian Slater vehicle Kuffs (which granted, I love, but it’s a pretty awful movie). Suffice it to say, I don’t know what to make of this movie. Advanced reviews are mixed, so I would advise to wait for a rental. On the plus side, I get to post a picture of Christian Slater.

Chaos was what killed the dinosaurs, darling.

Gracie – Inspirational sports movies aren’t really my thing (outside of Mighty Ducks). This seems to be the exact same story as Rudy, only replace the hobbit with a girl, and college football with high school varsity soccer. What this movie should truly be recognized for, however, is the reunion of Andrew and Elisabeth Shue (or, more importantly, for giving Andrew Shue work). Expect a crowd of people shouting “Gra-cie! Gra-cie! Gra-cie!” by the end. Again though, I warn you, there are no hobbits in this movie.

Knocked Up – There are few movies I am truly looking forward to this summer (although I will probably see almost everything). This is definitely the one that I am the most excited about, and is naturally my pick of the week. Judd Apatow seems to have a knack for making funny out of crisis. First we were introduced to a guy who spent the first half of his life not having sex, and now we meet a couple who drunkenly have sex only to get stuck with an unwanted pregnancy. Advance reviews are phenomenal, most saying that it’s even better than The 40 Year Old Virgin. In addition to Rogen being the lead character, there are also several other actors from Apatow’s Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared, including Martin Starr, Jay Baruchel and Jason Segel.

If I were the Bionic Woman, what would I wear?

Otherwise, there isn’t a whole lot opening this week. The Sunshine has a midnight screening of Fight Club tomorrow night, and Day Watch, the sequel to the Russian horror film Night Watch, opens at the Angelika.

Happy viewing!

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Seriously, they’re so cute.

And for when the video gets taken down for copyright infringement, here’s the general idea:

Jose Reyes is about to give Carlos Delgado a bear hug.

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A couple weeks ago I tripped while shopping at TJ Maxx. I tried to laugh it off and act as though I was okay with the situation, but being that I was by myself, I don’t think anyone was buying it. A few minutes later I left.

The point of this story is, I can only imagine what Miss USA is feeling right now. Poor thing.

If I were her I would’ve kept on cat-walking off the runway onto the nearest bridge. Then I would’ve jumped off.

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In this morning’s NY Times I read:

The insurgency here [in northern Iraq] is a caldron of prominent Sunni Arab groups that include Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia and Ansar al-Sunna. The city was a recruitment base for commanders of the old Iraqi Army, and former officers are now among the leaders of the local guerrilla movement.

Pop Quiz, hotshot. Which of the following statements regarding the above quote are true?

1. I had to look up the word “caldron,” and it turns out it’s just a stupid alternate spelling for “cauldron;” the vessel in which a witch stirs her brew.

2. It is unclear what the author means by “recruitment base” – it could be either A) that when the Iraqi Army was in tact, commanders were recruited from here, or B) that currently, former Iraqi Army commanders get recruited from here to join the “prominent Sunni Arab groups.”

3. The wording implies that “local guerrilla movement” and “prominent Sunni Arab groups that include Al-Qaeda in Mesopotamia and Ansar al-Sunna” are interchangable.

4. They are not interchangable.

5. Local guerrilla movements are often defined as people fighting to protect their homes from invading forces. Invading forces are foreign troops like the U.S. military and migratory jihadi groups like Al-Qaeda.

6. Prominent Sunni Arab groups might not be locals.

7. They are probably not even Iraqis.

OK hotshot, the quiz is over. Answers:

1. True

2. True

3. True

4. True

5. True

6. True

7. True

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