It is dusk on a Sunday, and bearclaws is approaching a crosswalk, visions of sugarplums probably dancing in her head. Mechanically, she notes that the intersection’s resident electronic crossing guard is wearing his smart white pantsuit, NOT his fiery reddish-orange unitard. To bearclaws, this sign says, “C’mon! Cross over! We live in a civilized republic where it was decided that anarchy -while sexy when you are 15 and hate your parents- is ultimately impractical, so have faith that aforementioned white pantsuit means that you will be safe to get to the other side.” Fault her for not looking both ways – which she admittedly didn’t- but had bearclaws started to cross a moment earlier, she would have been ass over tea kettle, sideswiped by a biker going through a red light.*
Now before all the bikers get themselves into a kerfuffle about how riding a bike has more positive side effects than hanging out with baby kittens, save it. I get it, and I mostly agree with you. Biking is healthy, ecologically friendly, creates less traffic, etc. However, what is NOT healthy is colliding with pedestrians nor scaring the bejesus out of them. I am a proponent of increasing the volume and enforcement of bike lanes, until the next time I get knocked on my ass. Nothing is guaranteed to erode the goodwill of bike-supporters faster than six months of eating food through a straw. Think of it like this; running red lights just because you are on a bike is like having a friend with gills who always brags about being able to breathe underwater. At some point, I am going to try to drown you both in my toilet.
*No bearclaws were harmed during the inspiration for this PSA
Welcome, bearclaws. Good to have you on board.
This is an especially pressing issue at my work recently. Some old lady who works here got hit by a biker going the wrong way down the street and it fucked her up bad. She had her jaw wired shut and everything.
Tragic.
Bikers must know that while they may be morally superior, they must still obey basic traffic laws.
Oh bearclaws. Only you could so beautifully utilize the word kerfuffle.
I almost got hit yesterday when someone went up on the sidewalk, entering a park where bike riding is not allowed.
I had beautiful dreams of knocking them down.
Did anyone consider that this incident may not be the random act of an anarchist bike rider, but a calculated hit attempt? I’ve read the bicycle is considered an excellent method to moe down your slower moving foes.