Oh man, last night was dudely. My hand hurts from high-fiving. My stomach hurts from attempting to digest chili, wings and beer. But most of all, my heart hurts from watching a hundred or so Bengals fans witness a tragic loss to the New England Patriots.
To explain. I don’t know anything about football. If I were a character in Varsity Blues, I would be James Van Der Beek sitting on the bench reading Kurt Vonnegut instead of the playbook. And then instead of being put in to replace the injured quarterback, I would continue reading Kurt Vonnegut and tell Jon Voight he’s a jerk. Last night however, I was invited to meet my roommates at Phebe’s Tavern & Grill on Bowery and 4th Street. This is a Cincinnati Bengals bar, and my roommate had a Bengals sweatshirt and plenty of enthusiasm to spare. The bar was separated into two rooms. In the front room, there is the main bar, as well as nice tables set up for dinner. The backroom has a smaller bar, with tons of tables set up for drinking and general merriment. We sat in the back room.
Apparently the famous dish at Bengals games is the Skyline Chili. This dish consists of spaghetti with a cheese and runny meat chili sauce on top of it. This deceptively simple dish was quite delicious, and we all joined the clean plate club within minutes of getting served. After a few more beers, the game started. I tried my best to relate to my surroundings by saying things like “The New England Patriots aren’t patriotic, they hate freedom!” and “Has anyone seen the movie Little Giants? It’s awesome!” The Patriots then scored a field goal, and the smiles around the room vanished momentarily. Luckily the waitress was efficient and the beers came at a steady pace. The pain was numbed.
Next we got wings. My roommate ChezJJP knows my aversion to spicy things, and ordered the wings at a medium spiciness. They were hot. Again, the waitress continued to supply drinks at a wonderful pace, which put the fire out in my mouth. The Patriots scored again, followed by the Bengals. It was then that I got to hear a song from everyone. I can’t recreate it here, but I can say that it was a beautiful and melodic aria sung by a collection of drunk people banging on tables. After this, the night got a little hazy. We left shortly before the game ended, but considering the 34-13 loss, we didn’t miss much. It should be said that it was a genuinely easy going and friendly crowd who never let the loss get to them too much.
Speaking as someone who most would say is more likely to attend a Bangles concert than a Bengals game, I had a pretty good time. So basically, if you aren’t really a sports fan, but are looking for a place to watch a sporting event, drink cheap beer and eat deliciously unhealthy meals with friends, Phebe’s is a pretty decent place. Obviously, if you’re a Bengals fan, this is a pretty good place too. You can say whatever you want about football, as long as you say it loud and follow it up with a high five. Isn’t that what being dudely is all about?
Phebe’s Tavern & Grill
359 Bowery at 4th Street
New York, NY
you make my soul quiver with joy.
high five!!
This post put hair on my chest.
Finally!
u stopped waxing?
My pride is overflowing. WHO DEY
I have a feeling these Sundays will be getting progressively more depressing as the Bengal’s continue their march into sub .250 territory.
Yes, but a Bengals loss is always better with some Skyline chili… What was this imitation schlock they were hawking at a NY bar?
Actually “Greg”, apparently it was the real thing out of a can, according to Boomstick, who knows. Aren’t you from Connecticut?
I am everything and from everywhere…