Royale
506 Fifth Avenue @ 12th Street
Park Slope, Brooklyn
Royale might actually be the polar opposite of Jackie’s 5th Amendment. It is a real cool bar. There are no old people here. There are only track jackets and hoop earrings as far as the eye can see.
When Brooklyn Skeptic hit this place up, we were fortunate enough to have staked out a prime piece of real estate in the back room at an enormous booth, only made cozy by the fact that we had seven or eight people sitting in it. From this slightly elevated point, we had a tactical advantage in assessing the crowd. They were, for the most part, very hot. They danced on the tiny, illegal dance floor. They flirted while wearing enormously tall stilettos. They drank Manhattanly-priced drinks. The DJ was wearing an Elmo tee shirt, and that was weird, but notwithstanding… Upon reading that over, the crowd sounds super-douchey and downright Midtown. This is not the case. What I’m trying to say is that this is a cool bar with hot people. They dress well. They dance well. But you don’t get the impression that they’re total assholes. Can you even imagine such a place?
The bouncer, though, made the bar. I loved him. At just a shade over 400 pounds, he perched on a stool just inside the door. He wore a three-piece suit and a fedora. And he had a lapel pin which was – get this – delicate silver handcuffs. He winked at me when I left. Classy!
I hear there’s a good happy hour until 9pm. We’ll check that shit out and get back to you.
Were the hot people you saw, seen through your beer goggles? Because I saw no hottness. Not counting the heavy-set bouncer.
did you guys go again? because i went, like, a month ago, and the dj was wearing the same elmo t-shirt.
wear it once, shame on you, wear it twice, shame on…. everyone.
Johnb: I just liked their steez. Gimme a break.
Piz: No, I was reviewing from the time I went in early March. I’m thinking about hitting the happy hour there some time this week though, if you’re interested. Something said 2 for 1. I’m a big fan of that. It’s the Jose Reyes of drink specials.
No Blacksploitation porn on the wall/ceiling?
I didn’t see that. Is it there?
OH IS IT?! From above mentioned booth, you would have had the best/worst view.
Reckles, you’ve never met a bar you didn’t like. No matter how you describe a place, in terms of its atmosphere, service, clientele, etc, you always like it in the end.
While your unfaltering positivity is admirable, in this case, I think your innate love of alcohol vending establishments may have impaired your judgment and blinded you from the obvious…
…the Elmo DJ should be run out of town and everyone knows it. Case closed.
Damn it. I propose shotdogs at Royale then. I need to see the bar before I’m all enbeergoggled.
Turd, I’m just a nice person. It was a cool place though. I would go there all the time if it wasn’t so much more expensive than all the other places I go.
Maybe I’ll make a post of just bars I hate. They’re mostly in Manhattan though.
I’m confused. Was the music bad or was the beer enabling you to look past a t-shirt? The only thing that I didn’t/haven’t enjoyed about this bar is the price (which isn’t THAT bad), and when there are no places to sit. Everyone there has been very pleasant and overwhelmingly content with their bar choice (long haulers, not pub crawlers).
Full (possible bias) disclosure: This bar was hosting a birthday party for a English Bulldog on one of my visits. Said pup was in a tuxedo and had full bar-roaming capabilities. I had several visits from a loving, warm, and affectionate uber-jowled creature throughout the night. The evening was capped by sharing cake with everyone at the bar for the dog. This is hard to beat. Oh yeah, and did I mention video clips of porn on the walls and ceilings?
Recklesly’s review was totally great and right on…I was really just setting up an extended knock on the elmo t-shirt.
Someone should be working on a google image search for this shirt, I must see it.
I can’t find it anywhere. I wish it was this one, but it’s not. It was a black tee shirt with an enormous, full body drawing of Elmo. It would be something that wouldn’t make you look twice if it was on a 6 year old, but it was on a 30-year-old DJ.
Wow. E(L)MO.
The DJ looked a little like this
kid will look when he gets his first whispery mustache and then it ends up lasting until he is 30. And he’s not as confident in himself anymore.
[...] 18th, 2007 In order to avoid misunderstandings among friends, I recently went back to Royale to perform some scientific inquiry on its ass. In a previous post, I had professed its awesomeness [...]