You’re sick of your Union Halls and your Flatbush Farms. You’re looking for something quieter, uglier, significantly less expensive. You’d pass up fresh-faced bartenders in favor of gristled ladies who could beat up your dad pushing six-packs. Jackie’s 5th Amendment is a den of senility in an area generally packed with sharp, successful breeders. It can add a little flavor to your life – like the way Fixodent makes your dentures kind of minty.
Best things about Jackie’s:
1. Every time you walk by its large picture windows, the scene’s just a couple chips short of a bingo tournament.
2. It’s comparable in price to Welcome to the Johnsons, but there is nary a hipster to be found.
3. If you miss your grandmother, there are plenty of old women on hand to tell you to sit up straight in a proper chair. I’m not sure how they react to being called “Gammy.”
4. They serve whiskey in dainty stemmed shot glasses.
5. On a recent Saturday night, they only played Mariah Carey and Billy Joel songs. Interestingly, these were my two favorite singers when I was in seventh grade.
6. It’s a great place to drink alone. And then to go home alone. Unless you’re into some freaky geriatric sex-swing shit.
7. The back room has a Rivendell-like air of mystery in addition to extra chairs.
Jackie’s 5th Amendment
404 Fifth Avenue at 7th Street
Park Slope, Brooklyn
Why were you in the backroom of a 60+ bar?
Finally, everyone’s favorite old man bar gets a little recognition. Well done recklesley.
FYI, they also store oxygen tanks and walkers in the back room.
[...] might actually be the polar opposite of Jackie’s 5th Amendment. It is a real cool bar. There are no old people here. There are only track jackets and hoop [...]
[...] Tuesday night at midnight, the bar was not empty. What is interesting about this bar is that unlike Jackie’s 5th Amendment or Old Carriage Inn (two other old bars in Park Slope), it seems to be a place where youngsters and [...]
[...] might actually be the polar opposite of Jackie’s 5th Amendment. It is a real cool bar. There are no old people here. There are only track jackets and hoop [...]