If there’s a lovlier bar than Flatbush Farm, I don’t want to know about it. It’s so classy, it makes Union Hall look like Welcome to the Johnsons. It’s so charming, it makes George Clooney blush. It’s so pretty, it makes sunsets turn to ash and fall out of the sky. It’s so expensive, it makes me perspire.
Flatbush Farm is decorated with perfectly shabby barnyard equipment, has hippie hand soap in the bathrooms and sells organic beer. I think the concept of organic beer is both horrifying and life-affirming. It’s horrifying in that it’s a pussified version of an essentially tough beverage. But it’s kind of life-affirming in that I am an alcoholic vegetarian with a thing for farmers’ markets. It’s like they don’t even pretend that place is not exactly for people like me – except older and with more money.
Last night, they had a fund raiser for some sort of animal shelter and were auctioning kitty-pleasuring gift baskets to insane people who actually try to stuff pets into their tiny New York apartments. Attendees were literally yelping with delight as they bought hundreds of dollars worth of scratching posts and tiny plush mice. “Mr. Muffins is going to be so spoiled,” squealed one woman. Really, that money would be better spent on anti-depressants and a good lint roller.
Aside from how insane rich people in Brooklyn are, this bar is really lovely. You should go check it out. But don’t stay too long because the organic beer will probably melt your brains.
Flatbush Farm
76 St. Marks Ave. at 6th Ave. and Flatbush Ave.
Brooklyn, NY 11217
you know, all those things you said are true – lovely decor, tasty organic beers, excessive charm…
but i really don’t like flatbush farm. not such a great vibe. they should get their aura cleansed or something. try some sage.
I agree with your assessment of Flatbush Farm in that I would really really love it if everyone who usually goes there was banished from the land. I sort of think this applies to Union Hall too. The size of these places allows for rich, yuppie, shitburger douchebags to arrive undetected and then totally crapify my scene. I far prefer smaller places like Great Lakes (I mean Grt Lks), which are small enough that when a total ass-balloon shows up the prevalent good vibes make them shrink and shrivel away. If only it had a patio. oh well…